


Ellia

by supremeleader



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Dad!Kylo, Eventual Romance, F/M, Fluff, Kylo is Trying his Best, NSFW, Pilot!Reader, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-16
Updated: 2019-02-12
Packaged: 2019-10-10 23:30:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 30,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17435561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supremeleader/pseuds/supremeleader
Summary: As a newly recruited TIE pilot for the First Order, all sorts of things are expected to see amongst the military organization, especially having a random child attached at your hip... right?





	1. Pilot Doll

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After finding what you thought to be a lost child in the hangar, you soon come to realize she isn't just anyone's child... and little do you know she will cause your world to shift on its axis.

Working with the First Order was something to get accustomed to. Being freshly recruited and jumping right into action was always a nice change... somewhat. You knew how to pilot, a sort of hobby of yours back at home, although you normally piloted stolen ships you claimed to have borrowed whenever your parents had asked. But, this was different from "borrowing" spacecrafts,  _far different_.

It had only been a few weeks since you had started, training had been quite simple as well as routine rounds of practice flight. It was almost second nature for you... but, it wasn't like you were the greatest pilot, many others were just as good. You were just happy to have a job out of what you enjoyed doing while standing for what you believed in.

Landing your TIE in its designated spot, hopping out and removing your helmet, you let out a sigh in relief at the thought of yet another successful mission. "Bless the stars..." You breathed, combing your fingers through the loose strands of hairs that fell out of your low bun. "At least I get a few days—" Cutting yourself off as you shifted your focus ahead, you froze in your spot as a little girl—a toddler with dark hair and a bright grin—stood before you. Blinking, you eyed your surroundings for a moment, almost as if searching for someone held responsible for the child. Gulping, you then looked back down at the little girl. "Umm... Hello?"

Holding tightly onto a small toy of what looked to be a TIE pilot, the little girl lifted it with a toothy smile. "Whoa!"

Lifting your eyebrows, you slowly knelt before the little girl. "Yes... It looks much like me, don't you think?"

"Mhm!" She eagerly nodded. "Don you think?" She mimicked in her rather cute voice.

Gulping, you cleared your throat. "Are you... lost?"

"Lost?" The little girl tilted her head. "I not lost." She shook her head.

"Are you sure?" You asked, slightly leaning in and looking at the hazel eyed girl as she nodded her little head. "Oh, then..."

"I stay with you!" She smiled, nodding her head eagerly. "I stay with you." Walking over and taking your gloved hand, the little one giggled. "Where we go now?"

"Uhh..." Unsure of what was happening, you looked around the hangar, seeing everyone minding their own business.

How was this upon you? Why did this happen to you and why did the random child decide to go to you out of everyone else?

"Umm... princess?"

"Princess? Daddy call me that!" She gasped before leaning in. "How you know?"

Lifting your eyebrows, you took in a small breath. "Well... princess is a universal nickname..."

"You... You— How you say that?" She tilted her head, dark tendrils of hair shifting with the movement.

"Universal?" You asked. "U-ni-ver-sal." You pronounced.

"U-ni-ver-sal?" She asked as you nodded. "I did it! U-ni-ver-sal!"

"Mhm... Universal."

"What that mean?" The little girl asked with a shrug.

"It means that it's known throughout the world. Many planets and species say it as a nickname or a title of royalty." The woman explained as the little girl nodded. "Are you royalty?"

"Hmm..." She hummed. "Daddy a king... Yes?"

Narrowing your eyebrows, you leaned in. "I'm not sure, I don't know your daddy..."

"Oh..." She frowned. "Everyone know daddy..."

Sucking in a breath, you eyed the little girl. "Do they?"

"Yeh! He big man, big chair... big stick!" She listed, but nothing rang a bell for your. "He look like me! But I look better... Shhh, don tell him!"

"I won't." You smiled. "Well, I must go to my quarters and shower before dinner... Where may your father be?"

Frowning, the little girl looked down. "Work... But I come with you?" She asked, lifting her head up and giving you pleading eyes.

"Oh, I don't know... I won't be able to watch over you while I freshen up—"

"That okay! I big girl. I play with my toy!" She raised her doll as you lifted your eyebrows and let out a small breath.

"Yes, but, princess... I don't really know who you are... What if your parents are worrying about you?"

Waving her hand, the little girl shook her head. "He not. He busy!"

"I—" Furrowing your eyebrows, you frowned. "Okay, well... if no one is coming to claim you..." You said, eyeing your surroundings, confused as to how no one was rushing over to find a missing child within the five minutes she had been with you.

Was she a stormtrooper child? Or was she a child from one of the upper ranking officers? Wasn't having a child within the Order prohibited unless given up to the stormtrooper program? You weren't sure at the moment, completely forgetting about the handbooks you were forced to read while under evaluation.

"I guess you should come with me..." Standing up and lifting the little girl with you, placing her on your hip, you walked out of the hangar and ignored the sudden stares.

Out of the entire time they could've noticed the little girl, now was when they decided to look?

Ignoring the lingering eyes, you nearly rushed through the halls and made your way over to the wing of dormitories for the TIE pilots. The quicker you got to your room, the quicker you could find the girl's father.

Then, the question lingered... how could a parent let their daughter—their toddler—linger around as if she were a grown adult? Unless... of course, the father didn't know and was actually unaware of where their daughter was now roaming...

Sighing as you reached your chambers, you punched in the code to your place and walked right in. "You stay here, okay?" You said while placing the little girl on your bed. "Are you hungry? Thirsty?"

"Mm-mm!" She shook her head. "I okay!"

"Okay, princess... You just let me know if you need anything, the washroom door will be open." You pointed as the little girl nodded. "I'll be as fast as I can, then, we can find your father."

"Daddy work... He come home late." She said. "I stay here until then!" The little girl nodded.

Blinking before arching an eyebrow, you were amazed at how well the little girl handled herself. "Uh... okay... As you say, princess..." At that, you entered the small room and kept the door open in case. Undressing yourself and entering the shower, you tried your best to hurry up in cleaning yourself, not wanting to leave the little girl alone for too long. It was enough that (as it seems) she was alone most of the time.

Quick enough to freshen up, dry yourself, and redress in your supposed casual attire—which really was a black turtle neck tucked into black pants with red stripes on the side, you pulled your hair back into a loose braid before exiting the washroom. Reaching for your boots to zip them up, you looked over at the little girl and spotted her napping. Biting your inner lip, you pushed your braid over your shoulder after unzipping the boots and placing them back where they were before. Searching for your tablet, you ordered food to be delivered rather than going to the dining hall.

"Right, then..." You sighed, sitting on the edge of the bed and awaiting your food. "Who must you be the daughter of?"

• • •

Stomping along the halls, searching nearly every inch of the vessel that he could reach with the help of his Knights, Kylo balled his fists. His anxious soul was wracked, his chest heaved as his heart raced in fear. This was the last thing he needed, he couldn't have his one and only bloodline disappear on him without a trace!

"Kriff!" Kylo hissed. "Where?!" Storming through the halls, Kylo searched within the Force.

He felt her. He knew she was there. But... where?

Entering the bridge, Kylo trudged up the the General. "Sound the alarms."

"What? Supreme Leader, sir... w—"

"I said,  _sound the alarms_!" Kylo exclaimed as Hux gulped, nodding and ordering his men to do so.

Deep in sleep and clinging onto something small, the sound of a blaring alarm startled you awake as you jumped in your spot, realizing you had fallen asleep once you had finished dinner. Feeling your heart race, you looked down to see the little girl snuggled in your arms, stirring awake and frowning. "What happening?"

"The alarms..." You sighed, sitting up with the little girl in your arms, then standing from the bed. "We must go out. It could be a drill." Slipping your feet into your night slippers, you exited your chambers to see the other pilots piling out, not one noticing the little girl in your arms.

"So loud!" She whined, pressing her ear against your shoulder as she covered the other with her hand that clutched the pilot doll.

"I know, princess, I know... It'll be over with soon." Following the sea of people, you stumbled to a stop as everyone else before you had frozen. "What the hell?"

Barging through the halls, Kylo's towering figure came to a stop as his eyes widened. "Ellia?!"

Lifting her little head, the girl looked over and spotted her father as your heart skipped a beat. The little princess was the... daughter of the Supreme Leader? Since when did he have a daughter? "Ellia?" Lifting your focus and seeing a livid Supreme Leader stomp your way, you swallowed hard.

"Ellia?!" Kylo reached over and peeled the little girl from your grip. "How dare you take her?!"

"Supreme Leader, I—"

"You are lucky she is with me now or I would've had you beheaded!" He spat, clutching his daughter against him, but she only squirmed.

"No, I stay! I stay!" She whined. "I stay!" Gulping, you looked between Kylo and Ellia, heart splitting down the middle at the sight of the little girl thrashing and crying out. "Mama!" Feeling your heart completely shatter at the name, you frowned.

Turning on his heel and storming off as the crowd parted for him, Ellia reached out for you, begging to go back. But the cries got distant the further Kylo went. Until they were no more.

Standing in silence, hearing the alarms sound off as everyone in the halls dispersed until it was deserted, you blinked. How did you become so attached to a little girl you had only known for a few hours?

Looking down at the floor and spotting the pilot doll, you bent down and reached for it, eyeing the toy and keeping it within your grip. Sighing and turning on your heel, you aimed back for your quarters, punching in the code and walking in all sluggishly. It ate at you to know the little girl wasn't happy.

But, that was her father. Oddly enough. So why was she so cranky? Did she not like him? Was he neglectful? For a toddler to be casually roaming around where soldiers marched and officers rushed... maybe she was?

Shaking away the thought, you tossed yourself on your bed as your slippers fell off. Staring at the the pilot doll, before you shifted you focus to the ceiling, you had hoped the little one—Ellia—would sleep well. That she would know she's safe and that everything was all right.

• • •

"Why would you run off like that? You had me worried..." Kylo spoke as he knelt before his daughter, who was sat on his bed, fresh tears staining her cheeks. "Ellia..."

"I want mama." She frowned.

Gulping, Kylo looked down and rubbed his face in distress. "Ellia, it's just me—"

"I want mama!" She raised her voice. "I want her! She sleep with me! She talk to me! She watch me!" Lifting his head and seeing more tears slip down his daughter's cheek, Kylo tightened his jaw as the sight, making his heart to drop. She was talking about the pilot. About  _you_.

"Princess, she isn't your mama." He shook his head but Ellia's pout deepened. "She is some pilot who... took you in and watched over—"

"She like a mama... She there for me..." She shook her head, raven hair bouncing around. "I want sleep with her... She hold me..."

Sighing, Kylo reached for her hand, rubbing his thumb against her little knuckles. "Ellia, I do the same..."

"You yell at her..." She shook her head again. "You scare her. She good, she nice. But you  _scare_  her."

Eyeing his daughter and seeing her rosy cheeks, he wiped the tears away. "I thought she took you away..."

"I go to her." Ellia spoke with a shaky voice. "She look like doll. Pilot. She pretty pilot..."

Eyeing her for a moment, Kylo took in a small breath before speaking, "We must get some rest, it's late, princess." Kylo said, standing up and kissing her forehead.

"No sleep..." She whined. "I not have pilot doll..."

Furrowing his eyebrows, Kylo searched the area, realizing the doll was nowhere in sight. "You can sleep without it, princess."

"But..." She frowned, "Pilot doll..."

It wasn't going to be an easy night.

Let alone... an easy  _week_.

He had six sleepless nights with his daughter constantly tossing and turning, unable to sleep without her doll—nor the woman she now claimed as  _mama_. Kylo tried his best to coo her to sleep, rock her and give her extra milk before bed, but everything lasted for a temporary amount of time. He found himself to be more sluggish, body aching and eyes heavy. His dark circles were even more prominent and it almost felt like the days when he was the Commander under Snoke's rule.

On the seventh night, however, Kylo couldn't take it. It was enough that he was a single father learning everything on his own. He was struggling and his daughter wasn't making it any better with her constant begging for her supposed  _mama_.

That's when he had it.

He picked her up in his arms and marched out of his room.

Kylo wasn't upset in his toddler, he couldn't entirely blame her. He knew she was missing a mother figure and somehow found it in someone (so suddenly). But, he just wished she would understand that he was trying his best for her. A man who never expected to have kids. Let alone, one that the mother abandoned and left in his care. He couldn't—and wouldn't—dare do the same.

Resting her head against his shoulder with a small pout, tired but unable to sleep, Ellia watched as her father carried her along with him. "Where we go?" She quietly asked.

"Somewhere to ease both of us." He breathed, entering the hall and searching the Force for the specific signature. Aiming for the door, Kylo was just about to force it open, but—instead—knocked. He didn't want his daughter getting a bad (or worse) perception of him.

Seeing the door open with a half asleep woman standing there, Kylo watched as your eyes widened. "S— Supreme—"

"Mama!" Ellia squealed, sitting up and reaching over.

"I have not slept for almost  _seven_  straight nights because I've tried  _everything_  to help her go to sleep and you are my  _last_  resort." Kylo said as he handed his daughter over. "I will be back in the morning. Do not leave with her anywhere."

Blinking as you took Ellia—who was now nuzzling into you—you slowly nodded. "Uh, alright..."

Standing there for a moment, Kylo gave you a single nod before walking away. "Ni ni, daddy!"

"Goodnight, princess." He spoke over his shoulder as Ellia waved.

Looking down at the little girl, turning away from the door as it sealed shut, you took in a small breath. "I guess the Supreme Leader has officially assigned me as your babysitter..." You muttered, walking back to your bed and settling Ellia down before reaching for your nightstand. "Here you go, princess. Your doll."

"Whoa!" She gasped. "You have whole time!"

"You dropped it when your daddy took you back." You said. "I kept it with me."

Seeing her small lips form into an 'o', Ellia stood on the bed and waddled over to you. "Tank you." Kissing your cheek, she then plopped down, got under the sheets, and buried her little head into a pillow. "I so happy... I have doll again... and I with mama."

Smiling, you got under the sheets besides Ellia and ran your fingers through the little girls smooth curls. "Good night, Princess."

"Ni ni."

• • •

Morning had come—or, at least, you had assumed. A heavy knock was heard on your door, causing you to force an eye open and spot a resting Ellia, then to peek at your holoclock. It was far too early for you to be disturbed.

Then you realized: it must've been the Supreme Leader.

Standing from your bed, you carefully peeled the sheets from Ellia and lifted her in your arms, aiming for the door and opening it. "I'm here for—"

"I know." You nodded with a small smile. "She's still asleep."

Swallowing, Kylo reached over and took Ellia in his hold, staring at you for a moment. How he had notice your nightwear the night before was beyond him. "...Thank you."

"Of course." You bowed your head. "If you don't mind me, I'll be going back to bed." Seeing Kylo nod his head once, he turned on his heel and walked off. "Does that man even sleep? It's only been six hours and he was already fully dressed..." Shaking your head, wondering how he hadn't slept  _sixteen_  hours instead, you went back to your bed and fell on it, knocking right back out in your original spot, as if Ellia was still there.

Which, Ellia would be for the next few weeks. A few days of the week you were allowed on your missions, but more often than not, you were sharing a bed with Ellia. You weren't bothered by it, enjoying the company of the little princess, you were just concerned about the matter. Was Kylo not a good enough father? You couldn't say, Ellia seemed like a very happy littler girl... but, you were sure that Ellia hardly saw her father with the life he had. And it was clear that she was missing a mother figure.

Were you that? Had you become that without realizing it? A mother figure?

"Alright, another successful mission." You breathed while exiting your TIE fighter, removing your helmet and cracking your neck. Rolling your shoulders and turning away, you stopped dead in your tracks as the Supreme Leader stood before you. "S—"

"Save the formalities." He lifted a hand as you nodded. "Ellia... thinks it's a great idea that you... join us for dinner."

Blinking a few times, you nodded, knowing better than to say no to the Supreme Leader. "Oh... Okay. Now?"

"That was easier than I thought..." Kylo mumbled to himself.

"Huh?"

"Right now." He cleared his throat.

"Oh... I was hoping it would be a bit later because of how I'm dressed—"

"You look good." Kylo dismissed, only to feel his heart skip a beat as you lifted your eyebrows. "I mean fine. You look fine. It doesn't matter. It's just dinner."

Slowly nodding, you took in a small breath. "Oh... alright."

Eyeing you for a moment, almost choking on his own words, unsure of what to say, Kylo turned on his heel and began to walk. "Follow me."

And you did so. You followed him along the halls with your helmet underneath your arm. You were used to walking the halls unnoticed, but now that you had been following the Supreme Leader, you were positive all the eyes were on you.

Taking in a deep breath and holding your head high, you followed Kylo shortly behind before he reached the throne room. As the door slid in and he lead you inside, you looked over to see a dinner table set up at the center of the room. Lifting your eyebrows in awe, the sight of a little head popping up, followed by a squeal, made you smile. "You here!"

Watching Ellia rush over in her little dress, you smiled before you went on your knees to greet the little one. "Hi, princess!" Being tackled nearly in a hug, you smiled at the feeling of the little girls arms trying to wrap around you.

Taking in a deep breath and watching the two interact, Kylo felt his stomach turn.  _The pilot_  was so affectionate towards his daughter, willingly watching after her and taking care of her while being a pilot for the First Order. And you didn't complain. You did as told without question and still managed to do things for the organization.

And Kylo couldn't help but admire you for that. After how he had reacted the first time, he was sure you hated him... or at least  _disliked_  him. But no sense of malice was felt... you were indifferent. You were more focused on Ellia.

So, he let it be. He let you get close to his daughter because you brought his little one happiness. And that was the only reason he did it... right?

His heart fluttered at the thought.

"We all togeder! Daddy here with you!" Ellia spoke eagerly, grabbing your helmet and wobbling over to her father from the weight of it, handing it over. "Tank you!"

"Ellia—"

"You put down, please." She nodded before rushing back to you and taking your hand. "We sit!" Dragging you along, over to the table, Ellia climbed up to her seat and patted the one next to her. 

"Thank you, princess." You smiled, looking over at Kylo—who awkwardly settled your helmet to a side—before walking towards the table and joining the two of you. "Thank you for taking my helmet."

"Hmm... Yeah..." He responded with an unsure tone, not bothering to look you in the eyes, settling down across from you. You held in a small laugh, taking in a deep breath and looking away as Ellia tried to converse with you.

Although a bit apprehensive, you didn't expect Kylo to be so... talkative. If that was the right word choice. The entire dinner, he had slipped in a few words every now and then, although you were sure it was because of his daughter insisting he speak every time she tried to say certain words or ask particular questions.

"Daddy pilot! He take me on ship and we go zoom!" Ellia said as she used her hand to be an example of a flying starfighter. "He do all kind of trick! Can you?"

"Can I do tricks?" You pointed at yourself as Ellia nodded eagerly, Kylo sitting quietly, timid as ever. You couldn't help but eye him for a moment before looking back down at his daughter. "Uh, well, I have strict rules to follow... but as I was growing up, when I was learning to fly, I did do tricks then."

"Like what? Daddy do flip and zigzag!" Ellia smiled, now sitting up on her knees to look better at you. The dinner was cleared and you had been picking on your dessert, unable to take full bites with all the questions Ellia had been sending your way.

"Oh, yeah. I can do flips and zigzags." You nodded with a smile as Kylo studied you, seeing the way you tried getting your spoon into your mouth but couldn't each time Ellia spoke. "All sorts of tricks. You have to do tricks when you're on missions so you don't get hit."

"Oh! Not want to get hurt! I not want you to... You be careful, okay! Daddy say that when I go walk with Knights!" Ellia pointed with a stern look, trying to imitate her father.

"Ellia, I think Y/N would like to eat her desert." Kylo spoke up, breaking his silence as you and the little one looked over. "You can always ask questions another time."

" _Okaaay_." Ellia sighed, adjusting herself in her seat to sit properly.

Lightly smiling to yourself, you looked over at Kylo and gave him a small bow of your head. He didn't respond, nor reciprocate the action, but you knew he had appreciated your gratitude. A hard man to understand that Kylo Ren was.

"I appreciate the dinner but I should retire for the evening. I've been in my uniform all day and it's getting quite uncomfortable." You nodded after the three of you sat in silence and finished your dessert.

"Now?" Ellia asked as you nodded.

"I just need to get out of it and take a nice shower before bed, you know?" You smiled down at her as she sighed. "I've fought my yawns, I don't want to seem rude or uninterested."

"Oh, I yawn when daddy try say what he do as king." Ellia shrugged, earning a groan from Kylo. You couldn't help but look at him and see the slump in his shoulders as he rubbed his eyes. "But pilot! Pilot cool! I want be one..."

Blinking, you raised your eyebrows. "Really? That's lovely! I'm sure you'll be amazing!"

"I be like you." She mumbled to herself with a smile, resting her head against you as your heart throbbed.

"Like... me?"

Nodding her head, Ellia held onto your arm as Kylo took in a deep breath. It almost felt like a game he was never going to win. His daughter truly loved you and all that you were... and he was starting to  _slowly_  see why. "I think it's time for bed, Ellia."

"Can I go with—"

"No, I haven't slept with you in a while." Kylo said. "I... miss you." He confessed, almost as if he were holding back because you were sitting there.

"I miss you!" She nodded. "Why we all not sleep together!"

"Oh, princess, I—" Shaking your head with a racing heart, Kylo had done the same.

"We can not sleep together in the same bed and room, that seems... That looks bad, Ellia. Everyone will—"

"You king. You do what you want. You do for me too! I want sleep with both!" Ellia nodded, standing on her seat.

"Princess, I must go shower and—"

"No worry! We go after! We go after." Ellia nodded as Kylo furrowed his eyebrows. "Daddy?"

"Ellia, we can't..." Seeing the pleading look in her eyes that struck his heart, Kylo sighed. "I— We— Don't do this to me, kid..." He nearly whispered as you watched. You weren't entirely sure how to feel, not after dealing with the two for a few weeks now. But, this? Sleeping all together? You and the Supreme Leader on the same bed? The thought made your face heat up.

"I'm okay with it." You puked out, not expecting yourself to even admit to it. "I mean, of course, as long as you are, sir. Anything for Ellia." Nodding your head, Ellia's grin grew wide across her face as she turned to look up at her father,  _begging_  for him to agree.

"Kriff..." He voiced under his breath. "Fine. But only tonight and we never speak of this." Kylo pointed to you as you rapidly nodded. "We will meet you at your chambers."

"Right, of course." Standing up and bowing your head, you nearly sprinted out of the throne room with a racing heart

Why were you suddenly so anxious? Or was it excitement? The latter oddly sounded reasonable and you were confused about it, yet...  _happy_. Were you on the Supreme Leader's good side now? Would this mean a promotion?! You couldn't help but laugh to yourself at your ridiculous thought. This was just a sleepover for  _his daughter's_  sake.

Standing up from the table and walking over to Ellia, Kylo lifted his daughter in his arms. "You will be the death of me..." He mumbled into her hair as he kissed her head, Ellia not hearing him as she had been eagerly clapping, excitement filling her veins.

"We sleep one bed! We go ni ni and I sleep good." She giggled as Kylo sighed, carrying her out of the throne room and over to his chambers to ready himself and his daughter.

When the time had come, Kylo tried to keep his anxieties at bay, walking with Ellia in his hold along the halls towards where he remembered your chambers to be. He made sure not to walk around in just sleeping pants, how would that make him look? So he carried around a bag. Not just for him, but Ellia needed things, too. What kind of father would he be if he didn't bring his daughters  _favorite blanket_?

Reaching the door, Ellia leaned over and knocked before Kylo could, turning her head and giving him a toothy grin. "I so happy..." She whispered before kissing her fathers cheek. "Tank you!"

"Anything for you." Kylo nodded, kissing her cheek as she squealed. Hearing the door hiss open, Kylo lifted his eyes and blushed, almost as if caught red handed. "May we... come in." He cleared his throat.

You couldn't help but smile at the sight, seeing the Supreme Leader show affection to his little girl. It made you happy. It made you  _swoon_. Stepping to a side, Kylo walked in before he knelt, putting Ellia down as she then rushed up to you and hugged your legs. "Uh, well... If you need anything, the kitchen is right there and over there is the washroom." You pointed. "That's... about it."

"It small, daddy home big but I like small, too!" Ellia said before making her way to the bag Kylo had been holding. "Can I have blankie?"

Staring at you, Kylo blinked before nodding, opening the bag and pulling out the blanket to give to his daughter, earning a  _tank you_  before she walked to the bed. "Where... will I sleep?" He asked, realizing all there was was your bed and the small dining table. Not even a couch.

"The bed, of course." You nodded. "Don't worry, it's quite big." Pointing over, Kylo turned and spotted Ellia already buried underneath the sheets right at the center of the bed. "If you don't mind me, I'd like to get some rest..."

"Right..." Kylo mumbled, giving you a nod before you walked to your bed and got under the sheets beside Ellia.

"Daddy, come!" Ellia waved her hand.

"I will, in a bit." With a nod, Kylo settled the bag to a side and made his way to the washroom.

You couldn't help but watch, more than positive that he was nervous... or uncomfortable about the whole ordeal. But when you looked down to Ellia, she was already fast asleep. With the day you had, you were sure to have knocked out the moment your head met your pillow.

And, you did.

The moment Kylo exited the washroom, he spotted the two of you cuddled up. There was enough room for him, his daughter hardly took up any and you were practically on the edge... but he couldn't do it. He couldn't lie there in the same bed as you.

Not because he was disinterested or weirded out, but the thought of it just... scared him. He didn't think it was right... but he also, deep down, didn't think it was wrong. He was exhausted and it was  _so_  tempting, but he also felt conflicted.

So, he spent what felt like hours, sitting at your  small dining table, on his data pad. Working.

Waking up, the sight of the empty spot behind Ellia made you furrow your eyebrows. Had Kylo left? Had he truly gone?

Gently pulling away from Ellia, you stood from the bed. Just as you turned, your heart skipped a beat. There Kylo was, sat at the table with his head resting on it, shirtless and in his sleeping pants. Your heart fluttered at a casual Kylo, but you were more worked up on him sleeping at the table. Was he really opposed to sleeping on the same bed with you?

Walking over, you placed your hand on his back, shivering at the feeling of his bare skin. It was smooth, smoother than you expected... even if it was littered with scars. "Supreme Leader?" You softly spoke. "...Sir?"

"Hmm..."

"Please, there's enough room on the bed for us to share. You'll be aching in the morning sleeping here..." You nearly whispered.

Fluttering his eyes open, blinking a few times and groaning as his back and neck ached, Kylo's heart plummeted at the sight of you softly smiling. "I'm fine."

"Sir, please." You nodded. "I don't mind."

Eyeing you, he sat up straight and stretched his back while rubbing his neck. "I fell asleep here while trying to work..." He explained, and you couldn't help but frown.

"Oh... I didn't know you were going to... work?" You asked.

"I didn't plan on it." He grumbled. "I just—"

"Didn't want to sleep..."

Looking up at you, Kylo took in a small breath, disturbed by the fact that you looked hurt. He hated how it was affecting you. And he hated it more that he cared. "Are you sure I fit?"

Snapping your eyes up to meet his, you nodded. "Of course, sir."

Breathing in, a subtle—very small—smile grew on his lips. "Call me Kylo."

Smiling, you nodded. "Of course, Kylo."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! So this was a little something I put together that originally was one part but it did so well on tumblr that I thought I'd make it a mini series! I've always been a sucker for dad!Kylo and seeing him as a single father (and the challenges it entails) so I'm excited to write some more for this! I hope you all enjoyed, thanks for reading, and please leave some comments! :)


	2. The Helmet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ellia has grown more and more attached to you… and so has her father, but that, he will never admit to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe how well this fic is doing on tumblr (AKA kylography) and all the feedback that it's received on there! I never thought this fic would have follow ups, but I've got at leas two more chapters to add to this little story to complete it! Hope you all enjoy!

There was a familiar scent that had latched its self on to your left pillow—the extra pillow that you hadn't used... but  _he_  did.

It had been over a month since the whole...  _experience_  had begun. Over a month since your bedsheets had been sent to the laundry once a week, only for the scent of Kylo Ren to be completely embedded into the pillow itself. There was no way of removing it and, at this point, you found yourself  _smelling_  it rather than  _staring_  at it.

What was the smell, anyway? It was something he used on him... his shampoo, of course, but what was the scent?

You shoved your face deep into the pillow once again after you had rolled away, convincing yourself you needed to stop. But you were addicted. He smelt so good and you just wanted... more?

So you sniffed and sniffed. Inhaled his scent as if you hadn't been breathing. It was addictive, and if you weren't so drawn to the damn man and his scent, you would've known this was quite odd. Especially since he wasn't yours to begin with.

"Ugh..." You groaned into your pillow, knowing it was flat out wrong to smell the Supreme Leader's pillow as if it was your favorite candle. Forcing yourself on to your back and rubbing your face, your heart suddenly plummeted at the sound of a giggle.

"Mama, why you smell pillow?" Hearing Ellia's voice, you took in a deep breath. Oh, how you should have seen this coming. You should've expected Ellia to pop in. It had become a habit of hers when she learned your chambers code and used anything (or anyone) to help her get in.

"I wasn't... smelling the pillow." You lied, sitting up and instantly growing wide eyed. "Kylo!" Seeing the man lingering behind his daughter like a shadow, your heart skipped a beat. "Uh... Why are you... here?"

Standing there in silence as his eyes lingered from you, to the pillow he claimed as his own, a very subtle—almost invisible—tug of the corner of his mouth made you bite your tongue.

So what if you were smelling his pillow? It smelt good! Nothing beyond that!

"You are missing from your required rounds." Kylo finally spoke, shifting his eyes to meet your own. "You've been missing for half an hour."

Blinking, your eyebrows lifted. Had time really flown that quickly? "Kriff..." You hissed under your breath, rubbing your face. So much for being a good pilot.

"Ellia was eager to see you in the hangar but was... confused as to why you weren't there when you normally are." Kylo explained as you turned your focus down to the dark haired, rosy-cheeked, little girl that gazed at you with a dimpled grin.

"Is that so?" You asked her with a gentle smile as she nodded.

"Daddy say I see you! But you not there!" She explained with a shrug before pointing at you. "You here... smelling pillow!"

Suddenly, you felt your smile drop. "I wasn't..." looking up at Kylo, seeing him look away and focusing elsewhere, you sighed, "would you like to join me?"

At that, you caught Kylo's attention once again. He was more than positive you were talking to his daughter, but the idea still made his heart race. "Join you? I don't think—"

"She mean me! I want! I want!" Ellia eagerly bounced in her spot, turning to tug at her father's leather-like pants. " _Please!_ "

Switching his eyes between you and Ellia, eyeing the way his daughter gave him a pleading look—much like how she did each time she wanted to see you—he huffed before mentally cursing at himself. "Only for one round. One round only. When she is done, you will join me for my trip to Dromund Kaas."

"Okay!" Ellia bounced once again, completely dismissing the matter that followed her joy ride with you.

Smiling at her reaction, you then thought back to Kylo's words, "Trip?" You questioned.

"A mission," Kylo clarified. "Nothing dangerous, just diplomatic." He explained, unsure as to why he had to explain to you when you were just like a nanny.

Or so he  _tried_  to convince himself.

He knew better than to call you that, but it was better that way. After a month of sleeping in the same bed as you for his daughter's sake, sharing dinners, waking up to your sleeping face every morning... it was hard not to grow  _something_  for you. Especially when you were so kind to his daughter and so respectful towards him.

"Mama come, too?" Ellia asked, looking up at her father, nearly straining her neck as she latched onto his leg. "Mama come!"

Turning his focus down to his daughter, who had been smiling brightly up at him while hugging his leg, Kylo cleared his throat, "Would you like to join us?" Turning his focus over to you, he gave you an awkward half smile. Ellia had told him he needed to smile more when speaking to you because you were a  _nice person_  and also her  _friend_.

Biting your inner cheek, your shoulders dropped. "I don't know... I'm already late for my rounds and I haven't—"

"Sorry, Ellia, she can't go." Kylo interjected while looking down at his daughter.

"Daddy!" She stomped as she let go of his leg. "Don imburtupt!"

Looking over at Ellia with furrowed eyebrows, you turned your eyes to Kylo who simply explained, "She means interrupt."

"Oh..." Feeling a small smile on your lips, you winked Ellia's way as she bowed her head.

"She talk, daddy." Ellia pointed with her hand. "She busy cause you make busy! You say now  _no work for mama_!  _She come with_!" Ellia pointed a finger while narrowing her eyebrows, trying to act like her father. "Like dat!"

"Ellia, I can't just—"

"Supeme Lidder!" She crossed her arms and tapped her foot. "You king!"

"I know, but—"

Eyeing the two as Kylo looked down at his daughter with slump shoulders, you sucked in a small breath. You knew very well Ellia was trying her best to get her father to convince you to join, so you decided to save her the trouble. "I think I can go one round and then bring Ellia back to you and we can join you on your mission..." You said as Ellia gasped while Kylo's eyes grew in size.

"That work!" Ellia squealed, bouncing again in her spot as her soft curls had done the same. "Go ready! We go fly!" She waved her hand at you before turning and pushing her father out of your room.

Kylo didn't even get a single word in. How was his toddler bossing  _him_  around?

After a good fifteen minutes of trying to rush yourself, washing your face and showering, you tugged your black turtle neck on as well as leggings, pulled on your jump suit and slid on your boots. Rushing towards the door while pinning your hair into a bun, you waited as it slid open, presenting a crouched Kylo sitting before his daughter who had been rambling about stars knows what as he played with her hair.

Seeing you through his peripheral vision, Kylo turned his head before letting go of the strand of hair he had been twirling, standing up and clearing his throat, "I will be awaiting the two of you in the throne room. This should not take more than fifteen minutes to check up on your Fighter and give it a test run."

"Of course, Kylo." You bowed your head as Ellia rushed to your side, grabbing your hand as you reached out your free one to grab your helmet. "Fifteen minutes." At that, you walked along with Ellia.

"Bye, daddy!" The little girl exclaimed as she looked over her shoulder and flapped her hand, "I see you soon!"

"Bye, little princess." He waved back, feeling his heart in his throat at the thought that someone else who  _wasn't_  him was going to pilot his daughter around.

Was his TIE Silencer joy rides not enough for her? She really must've loved you...

And maybe he—

Shaking the thought away as the two of you turned a corner and left his sight, Kylo stomped his way to his throne room, awaiting your return.

 

* * *

 

"Whoa! Whoa! We do again!" Ellia exclaimed as you helped her out of your TIE Fighter, settling her down as she held her doll and waved it in the air. "You go nyoom and zoom and weeee!"

"Mhm, maybe your father will let you join me again sometime soon." You nodded, removing your helmet before taking her tiny hand into yours.

"He will! He like you lot!" Ellia nodded as she held her doll to her chest.

"I like him, too. He's a good man." You nodded but Ellia giggled.

"You silly, mama!" She shook her head. "I not mean like dat!"

Narrowing your eyebrows, you slowed your pace. "What do you mean?"

Stopping in her tracks and letting go of your hand, she cupped her mouth and whispered, "He  _like_  you."

Blinking a few times, you crouched before her. "How do you mean?"

" _Weeell_!" Circling her ankle as she crossed her arms behind her, Ellia shrugged, "he look at you lot... every mornin' before we go! When we eat! When you near him! He think you  _pretty_."

Blushing you, gulped. "How do you know that?"

"Cause! He say in head!" She nodded, tapping her forehead. "I hear daddy thought sometime!"

Tilting your head before leaning in, you searched Ellia's eyes. "You can hear his thoughts?"

"Uh huh! Not all time... Daddy know! He say it because I strong in Force!" She giggled. "I only hear his 'cause he my daddy! I not hear you... but you like him too... I tell." She narrowed her eyes as you instantly choked on your breath.

"Huh?!"

Giggling again, she hid her face in her hands for a moment before looking up at you again. "You like daddy like he like you! I won say anything! Promise!" She nodded, taking your hand and pulling you with her as you nearly stumbled along. "C'mon! Daddy wait!"

The entire walk to the throne room, you found your head in a haze. Kylo liked you, you knew that. But in a way a friend would like a friend. Or a way someone who couldn't tolerate most, could tolerate you.  _That's_  what you thought it was.

But then Ellia emphasized the  _like_  and your heart sank. The Supreme Leader surely didn't like you in that way?

And how would Ellia know that you supposedly liked him, too?!

Just because he thought you were pretty didn't mean he liked you... After all, you did find him attractive and that didn't mean you liked him.

Right?

 _Wrong_.

Seeing the door of the throne room slide open, Ellia continuously tugged you along. "Daddy!" She shrieked, slipping from your grip and rushing up to him as her little boots squeaked. "Daddy, mama do so many trick!" Opening her arms for him, Kylo stood up and crouched to catch her before he stood and lifted her. "She fly all over! All  _zoooom_!" Using her free hand to mimic the TIE Fighter, Kylo watched her with a soft smile. "We do again?"

Eyeing his daughter as she smiled at him, Kylo took in a small breath before looking back over at you—where you stood a distance away. "If she wants to..."

"I don't mind." You shook your head. "She was a great co-pilot."

"You hear! I great co-pilot." Ellia pointed at herself with her thumb. "I be your co-pilot, daddy!" Wrapping her arms around his neck and hugging him, you couldn't help but grin. Ellia nuzzled her face into his neck as he used his free hand to rub her back, turning his head enough to kiss her own.

Shifting his eyes to meet yours, the two of you stared at one another in silence. A hint of a blush grew on your cheeks at Ellia's comment  _he think you pretty_. Was that why he was staring? You couldn't help but look down, holding your helmet under your arm as your other crossed behind your back, knowing very well he was  _still_  staring at you.

Then, a sound erupted and echoed throughout the throne room. Ellia's giggle.

Lifting your head and seeing her cup her hand before her father's ear, you furrowed your eyebrows.

"You think she cute and pretty? Why not say it?" She whispered to Kylo, but you couldn't hear.

But you knew it was  _something_  with the way his eyes widened as his pale skin tinted pink. " _Ellia_."

"What? It what you think." She shrugged, no longer whispering before looking over at you. "I agree!"

"Ellia, I told you not to whisper around others." Kylo cleared his throat, awkwardly looking over at you and trying to seem like a  _very good father_  who raised his daughter with  _proper_   _manners_.

"Okay, daddy!" Ellia nodded, turning her head to look at you. "Daddy think you cute! He say in head!"

"Ellia!" Kylo's voice cracked as it echoed throughout the throne room, a harsh blush growing apparent on his cheeks as he looked at you in pure terror.

"Whaaa? You say not keep! So I not!" Ellia shrugged, smiling as she eyed her father, reaching over and feeling how warm his face was. "Daddy, you face warm! You sick? Oh nos!"

"N— No... I'm not s— I'm not sick..." Kylo sucked in a breath. "I'm perfectly... fine..."

"If you say so!" Kissing her father's cheek, Ellia played with the tips of his hair.

Gulping as he looked you in the eye, Kylo breathed in, "I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" You asked with a small smile, sucking your lips in as you held in a laugh. Although your heart was racing, you couldn't help but appreciate how straightforward Ellia was. Not even five years old and spoke up a storm.

And knew how to get the Supreme Leader flustered at the mention of his crush on you.

"I am  _positive_." Kylo hissed, tightening his jaw as you simply nodded his way.

"Of course." You bowed your head, unable to hide your smile as he walked past you.

"Stop smiling." He grumbled, entering the lift as you turned on your heel, biting your inner lip, trying to force your smile away. "You're  _still_  smiling."

Lifting your hands up in defense as you took his side, you shrieked, "I'm not!"

" _Whatever_..." Kylo grumbled under his breath as Ellia sat silently, watching the two of you as she smiled, burying her face into her father's neck and quietly squealing.

"You two funny." She muttered into her father's neck. "Like couple!"

"Like couple?" Kylo questioned, but you cleared your throat.

"I think she means... like a married couple..."

"Uh huh!" Ellia lifted her head as she nodded. "You two!"

Sucking in a deep breath and looking at the ceiling of the lift, Kylo sighed.

 

* * *

 

"The Knights and I will be scouting Sith temples and a few nearby areas of the planet to see if it is fit to be a new base for the First Order." Kylo explained to you as you sat beside your helmet, Ellia on the other side of it, poking at it and tracing the curves.

"A new base?" You questioned as Kylo nodded. "But isn't Starkiller II in the works?"

"Yes. This will be a minor base to relocate officers and troopers." Kylo answered as you nodded. "Captain Phasma will be staying with you... two. Ellia can do as she pleases as long as she is not too far from your sight."

Looking over at Phasma as she stood to the left of Kylo, a few steps back, you nodded. "I appreciate that but... Phasma could join you, I can handle Ellia and I."

Sucking in a small breath, Kylo spoke up, "Phasma originally was here to... watch over Ellia for the time being... As she normally does when I bring Ellia along in missions."

"Oh..." You nodded.

"Auntie Phasma!" Ellia clapped, waving at the chrome trooper as Phasma bowed.

"I was not expecting you to come..." Kylo added, clenching his helmet—which he only wore on missions or anything away from his Star Destroyer.

"But he glad you did!" Ellia nearly sang as Kylo shot his giddy daughter a look. "Sorry, daddy! You say not keep secret!"

Phasma, in her corner, couldn't help but stifle a laugh by clearing her throat.

"I... am going to go now..." Kylo forced out, giving you a hesitant look before walking towards his daughter and kissing the top of her head. "I will be back soon. Please listen to Phasma and—"

"Mama! I will!" Ellia nodded, patting her father's cheek before nuzzling her tiny nose against his larger one. "Bye bye! Love you, daddy!" She waved as Kylo stood up, nodded towards Phasma, and walked away.

"I love you, too, little princess."

Feeling your heart flutter while you made eye contact with Kylo as he looked over his shoulder to speak those words, you blinked and swallowed your heart as it lodged up your throat. You were sure his eyes lingered too far off...

 _Exactly_.

"Okay, princess Ellia," Phasma spoke, "what would you like to do?"

"Hmm..." She tapped her chin. "Play with you and mama's hair! I be hair person!"

Nodding her head, Phasma walked forward, "As you wish, my princess." Removing her helmet, your eyes widened as you spotted the blonde woman whose hair reached her ears. Her hair was so bright... you had almost seen nothing like it. When was the last time you saw a blonde? Everyone was always a brunette, anyway.

Kneeling down to sit before Ellia—who was now moving on her knees—Phasma quietly allowed the little girl to play with her hair as you simply watched. Everyone must've been wrapped around Ellia's finger. Even the Knights had bent to her will the flight to Dromund Kaas. Everyone loved Ellia, it was a known fact. And she deserved it, especially with the father she had, no one expected him to have a daughter so... different from him.

And who was the mother anyway? Kylo had given hints here and there and all you knew was that she once worked with the First Order and had left Ellia behind as if she weren't just an infant who needed her mother as well.

You rued the woman who dared abandoned her little girl as if she wasn't a perfect little angel you loved more than the First Order loved power.

 

* * *

 

"The planet seems promising. Although there is no human life left, nothing but bones and creatures... I believe this would be the perfect spot for a secondary base." One of the Knights nodded to Kylo as the group of seven made their way back to the shuttle.

Lost in his thoughts, gazing off into the distance, the words flowed into one ear and seeped out the other. He couldn't quite put together what the Knight had said, only picking up on the word  _perfect_.

And it wasn't in the context of the new base or Dromund Kaas... rather, his mind went to you.

His heart skipped a beat. You were always on his mind. All he could see was you with Ellia. The way you hugged her, how you held her when she fell asleep, the way you cuddled her when it was time for bed... The way you lit up each and every time you saw her. And the way you smiled at Kylo whenever you saw him.

Your smile. Kylo's breath hitched at the thought of it. He felt his face heat up as his skin tingled.

You had been the topic of his interests for the past month or so and he couldn't seem to have a moment where he  _wasn't_  thinking about you.

It was you.

It was  _always_  you.

He worried for you when you went on missions. He was proud of you when you came back victorious. He was concerned for you when you lacked rest—and he could sense it. He cared for you in ways he never seemed to care for anyone before.

Which made him think... were you okay now? Phasma was there, she wouldn't let anything happen to you... but that didn't mean that creatures couldn't kill her...

And you would do anything to protect Ellia...

Kylo's heart shot up his throat as he picked up his pace.

"Master Ren?" One of the Knights voiced, But Kylo didn't budge as he removed his helmet. He nearly bolted, leaving the Knights behind, assuming it was because of his daughter. Kylo had the habit of running off whenever Ellia was involved in missions... which made them wonder why it was that he brought her along.

Spotting the shuttle and rushing up the ramp, Kylo slowed his pace and spotted you, hair oddly braided as you danced around with Ellia to non existent music as Phasma watched with a smile.

Hearing heavy breathing, you spun Ellia and froze as you spotted Kylo with wide eyes. "Kylo?" Walking over as you kept Ellia's hand in yours, you carefully reached out to him and placed a hand on his chest, feeling his heart race. "Kylo, are you alright?"

Feeling your small hand against his clothed chest, Kylo suddenly felt his shoulders drop as his eyes fell closed for a moment. You were so... calm and happy. Your aura was clear like a morning on Naboo and serene like its oceans. How were you so... peaceful?

And how was it making him so at ease?

"Daddy? What happen?" Ellia asked, concerned as she reached over to tug on his pants.

Opening his eyes and looking into your own, Kylo let out a small breath before looking down at Ellia and falling to one knee to hug her.

"Ah, one of Ren's panicked  _is Ellia okay?!_ moments." Phasma spoke as she placed her helmet on. "How typical. No faith in my babysitting skills."

"Daddy not worry bout me." Ellia spoke as Kylo groaned in defeat. "He know I okay!"

"Ellia, pl—"

"He worry for mama!" She jumped, turning in her father arms to look up at you as you blushed. "Daddy care for you, mama..." Ellia giggled, patting her father's arms as they were still wrapped around her.

"I do not regret being here at this moment." Phasma grinned from within her helmet, Kylo shooting her a deadly look.

"Everything is alright with me, Kylo." You assured as you eyed Kylo, eyes never leaving him. "I promise I won't let anything happen to Ellia..."

"Or you!" Ellia exclaimed. "He worry bout you! You, mama!"

Feeling your cheeks burn even more, you took in a small breath. "I wouldn't let anything happen to me, either..."

Shifting his focus to meet yours, Kylo slowly nodded his head once in acknowledgement before lifting Ellia in his arms. "Good, Ellia couldn't afford to lose you."

Furrowing your eyebrows as you watched Kylo walk to the canopy of the shuttle, Ellia in his arms, you couldn't help but frown.

Couldn't he not afford to lose you, either?

"What an imbecile." Phasma muttered as Kylo left either of your sight. "You don't have to be a genius to know that Ren likes you."

"...So I've been told..." You sighed, taking a seat and undoing the numerous amounts of braids Ellia did to your hair, replacing them with your bun.

One by one the Knight's piled in and soon the shuttle was off. You hadn't seen Kylo the entire trip back and Ellia hardly had the chance to be beside you as he kept her with him. The moment the shuttle had landed in the hangar of the Star Destroyer, you were one of the firsts to disembark as Phasma followed soon after. You wanted nothing more than to get out of your jumpsuit, take another shower, and sleep for a good ten cycles.

The Knights had left in an almost perfect row, Kylo being the last as Ellia walked beside him. A wide smile on her lips, hoping to see you waiting, but all that was left behind was your helmet and nothing more. "Daddy... where mama?"

Looking over to the helmet, Kylo breathed in. "I'm sure she is exhausted and has retired for the day."

"But... no food?" Ellia asked.

"She can get some delivered to her quarters. Come on, I want to give you another bath." Kylo waved as Ellia eyed the helmet with a frown, turning to catch up with her father as she grabbed his hand.

Looking over his shoulder and spotting your helmet, Kylo bit his tongue. You could retrieve it yourself, no good pilot leaves their helmet behind.

 

* * *

 

You were in a rush. Damn your holo alarm for doing a terrible job! You weren't used to not having a set of bodies lying beside you at night. For once in the time that had passed you by—that seemed like forever—Kylo and Ellia hadn't slept with you.

You tossed and turned, frustrated in the fact that you couldn't find the right spot that was comfortable, now with all the space you had. It left you weary and sluggish, yet, with enough energy to rush to the hangar, over to the shuttle you were in the previous day.

"Uh, excuse me!" You called out to a technician that had climbed the ramp. He was a blonde.

_Another blonde!_

But the blonde man didn't answer. So you huffed and climbed aboard yourself.

Searching the seats, you frowned. Your helmet was no longer there. Nowhere in sight, not in the shuttle.

"Kriff... Where's my damn helmet?" You asked yourself, only for a husk voice to speak up from behind.

"The previous crew must have it." They said, but you shook your head. You  _were_  the previous crew! Whoever this blonde was, clearly didn't do his job properly if he didn't know who came in and out of the shuttle as he worked in it.

"Great. Just great!" You threw your hands up, completely dismissing the thick, silver rimmed glasses as you didn't spare the man a second look. Instead, you stood up and left the shuttle once more.

Where could your helmet be?

The Knights wouldn't take it, neither would Phasma... Maybe Kylo did for Ellia's entertainment.

Furrowing your eyebrows, you turned on your heel and stomped all the way to the throne room, nearly bursting in and demanding answers... only to spot Kylo seated, your helmet in his large hands as he was... nose deep into it? Was he smelling your helmet... like you smelled his pillow?

The sudden sound of your boots suddenly caught his attention. Kylo's head snapped over at you as your breath hitched. He looked at you as if he were a bantha caught in speeder lights. Why were you there? Didn't you have a mission?

 _Oh... the helmet_.

His first instinct was to hide the helmet, but he knew very well that you had seen it... That you had seen him smelling it... and there was no turning back now.

"Supreme— Kylo, sir?" You cleared your throat as he stared at you in fear and awe, trying to hide your helmet under his cape. "I... I was searching for my helmet. I had left it on the shuttle last night and... May I ask as to why you are... hiding it?" You tilted your head as Kylo gulped.

 _Kriff, she saw me!_ He thought.

"Kylo?" Watching as Kylo frantically looked between you and the helmet, he immediately stood up and hid the helmet behind his back.

"What? Hiding what?" He asked as you narrowed your eyebrows.

"My... helmet..." You pointed, but Kylo slowly walked backwards and leaned against his throne.

"Your helmet? I have no idea where it—"

"Daddy, why you hold helmet?" Ellia's voice spoke up as Kylo nearly jumped in his spot, instantly turning around and seeing his daughter standing before him. "That mama! How you get? I thought you left helmet on ship!"

From your spot, you couldn't see Ellia, all you saw was Kylo's towering figure, hunched over and looking down at—who you assumed to be—his daughter. "Kylo, sir, I really need my helmet, my team embarks soon..."

Lowering her focus to the helmet in her father's hands, Ellia gasped with a wide grin. "Daddy! Daddy, you keep hemet!" She bounced in her spot, pointing at the helmet. "You keep! You keep! You keep cause you like mama!"

"N— Shhh! No I don't! Ellia, you are supposed to— Where are the pair of stormtroopers watching over you?!" Kylo's voice echoed.

You watched from where you stood, a slight tilt in your head as it almost seemed as if Kylo had been arguing with the wall rather than his daughter... over your helmet... and his supposed—

"Daddy like mama!" Ellia clapped. "Daddy like mama, daddy like mama!"

"Ellia!"

"Daddy date mama! Daddy go out with mama like Phasma go out with—"

"Ellia, that's  _enough_!" Kylo's voice boomed as the toddler instantly frowned, taking a small step back as her eyes began to tear up. "No, little princess, I'm sorry..." Falling to his knees before her, he went to wipe her tears, but she smacked his hand away.

"WHY DADDY NOT SAY HE WANT MAMA AS MUCH AS I DO!" She yelled before running off, causing an audible gasp to leave your lips as you spotted the little girl sprint off.

"Ellia!" Kylo called out, standing up, but the door slammed behind her without her touching it. "Kriff!"

Watching Kylo rub his face, you took in a deep breath before walking over. The situation at hand already had you flustered as it was, but to see little Ellia yell and run away the way she had broke your heart. You knew very well that her intentions weren't ill mannered, and you were sure Kylo knew this, too... You could only imagine how she had now felt. "Kylo..."

Feeling your hand gently rest against his arm the way it had the night before, Kylo took in a small breath and shut his eyes for a moment, searching for Ellia's life force... feeling it... feeling  _yours_. "I didn't mean to yell at her."

"I know." You nodded. "But I think we should go find her before she gets herself lost in a place she can't get herself out of." You said as Kylo slowly nodded, carefully taking his gloved hand in yours and gently tugging him along in the direction Ellia went in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did anyone recognize the blonde?


	3. TIE Silencer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo finally delves into his desires.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi hi! Reminder than you can find me (and this fic) on tumblr as "kylography"! Thank you all for the lovely comments, I truly appreciate them all! And to those who noticed Matt in the previous chapter, good on ya! Here's some more of our favorite daughter/father duo! Enjoy!

Soft sniffling filled the echoes of the small tunnel BB-9E rolled by. With a small tilt of its flat, black head, the BB unit rolled backwards. Eyeing the shaft in which the BB units came from after their routine maintenance, BB-9E slowly rolled inside to spot a living being. The droid recognized the little human, knowing very well who it was.

"Bzzzrwip?"

Sniffling once again as she held her pilot doll, and a rag doll that much resembled her father—in which a nice village woman had made her a few missions back—Ellia lifted her small head and eyed the droid. "I... okay..." She forced a smile, wiping her tears. "Daddy being a bum bum... but he no mean it..."

"Bwooooboop!"

Giggling, Ellia nodded. "Daddy very loud! Loud man! But he king so he need loud... Not to me, I not like when he loud to me..."

"Bwaaaapzerrp?"

"He say sorry! He say sorry but I mad and run... I hide for now. Not want to see mama like this... I not want her think I bad girl..." Ellia pouted as she gently played with the two dolls in her hold, bumping their heads together. "I want mama to be happy..."

"Boooooo..."

"She not really mama... I know dat... But she like mama... I call her mama..." Taking in a deep breath, she eyed the pilot doll, "I wish she my mama..."

Standing just outside of the duct, beside Kylo (as he had told you Ellia had the habit of hiding amongst the droids when she was in trouble or playing hide-and-go-seek), you heard her words.

_I wish she my mama..._

Your heart sank as a small frown grew on your lips. Eyeing the vent, knowing she was hidden deeper within it as she was small enough to fit, your grip tightened around Kylo's hand, nearly forgetting you had been holding onto it.

Kylo had heard her, of course he had, and somewhere deep within his soul, he had wished you were her mother, too.

"You should go in." Kylo lowly spoke, just enough for his voice to be heard by you only. "She'd rather see you than me."

Gulping, you looked up at him as he slowly nodded. "But, wouldn't it be better for you—"

" _Please_ ," he begged.

Nodding, you slid your hand from his grip and crouched, crawling in as much as you could. "Ellia?" It was dark and you could hardly see what you were looking at.

"Bzzzzzzirp!"

Seeing the droid quickly turn around, you crawled backwards as it beeped frantically at you.

"No, no! That mama!" Ellia exclaimed, but you couldn't see her.

"Ellia? Where are you?" You asked.

"I 'hind BB..." seeing her little hand reach out with her pilot doll, you sighed in relief. "I sorry, mama... I not mean to—"

"Princess, I'm not mad. And neither is your daddy. No one is mad at you... we're just worried. You ran off and scared us..." You explained as you heard a faint sniffle. "We just want you safe and with us."

"Us..." She gently spoke. "I want daddy happy..."

"You make him very happy." You softly smiled.

"I know dat... I say that 'cause I want someone who not me to make daddy happy in other way..." She mumbled as you eyed her in the poorly lit area.

You knew what she meant, who she had been thinking about, "You mean me, huh?"

Taking in a deep breath, Ellia looked at you. "You make daddy happy when you not even try... You just there and he happy. I know... I feel... I hear."

Smiling, you nodded before taking in a small breath. "Can I tell you a little secret?"

Perking up, Ellia nodded. "Uh huh!"

Leaning in and lowering your voice, you whispered, "your daddy makes me happy, too. When he isn't acting like a bum bum." You winked as she giggled.

"He do?" Ellia asked.

"Mhm... Especially when I get to see how he treats you." You nodded. "He really loves you and that's what matters. And he's raised you all on his own... into this little angel that you are... and I think that's amazing."

Blushing, Ellia looked down at her dolls. "He 'mazing..."

"Mhm." You chuckled.

"But mama 'mazing, too!" She bounced in her seated position.

"And so are you." You grinned. "Will you come out? I'm sure this BB unit wants to, too."

"Brooooop!"

"BB-9E have work! It go!" Ellia gasped.

"Okay, okay." Crawling backwards and getting out, you stood up and turned to see Kylo standing there with cheeks red as his lightsaber.

Clearing his throat, Kylo nodded his head. "Thank you..." taking in a deep breath, he looked you in the eyes, "for all of that."

Smiling, you bowed your head and gave his hand a small squeeze before hearing BB-9E beep, turning to see the droid eye Kylo before rolling right off. "Do droids fear you?"

With a sigh, Kylo rubbed his forehead. "Apparently so..."

Watching Ellia crawl out as you helped her to her feet, she slowly approached her father as he knelt before her. "I sorry, daddy... I not meant yell at you..." She rubbed her eyes as Kylo held her waist. "I sorry..."

"It's okay, little princess." Kylo gently smiled, leaning in and kissing Ellia's forehead. "I'm sorry for yelling at you..."

"It okay, daddy." She nodded before Kylo pulled her into a hug. "I love  _youuu_."

Feeling his heart flutter, he tightened his grip around her small body, kissing the side of her head multiple times. You couldn't help but watch with the desire to  _aww_. It made your heart warm knowing the Supreme Leader had this side to him.

"I love you more than you know, my little princess." Kylo nearly whispered as he held her tight, caressing her long, near-black hair.

"I think mama miss mission..." Ellia reminded as your eyes widened.

"Oh, moof milker..." You stomped.

"That's alright, she won't be in trouble." Kylo assured as he looked up at you. "I am the  _king_  after all."

Smiling down at him, you nodded your head as a thank you.

 

* * *

 

And so you weren't in trouble, seeing as there was no one above Kylo Ren. He made sure to clear the air and tell your squadron that you had to run an important, last minute mission for him—which was partially true since you helped him find his daughter.

Then, you found yourself seated beside Kylo with Ellia on your lap, eating lunch together.

Ellia insisted that her father take you to lunch with them as a treat for  _being a good mama_  who helped her father find her; and, to your surprise, he didn't hesitate too. That's how you ended up in the position you were now in, feeding yourself as Ellia took bits and pieces of it, smiling up at you with puffed up cheeks filled with food she had been chewing.

"Do you like it?" You asked, arm wrapped around her waist to keep her in place as she eagerly nodded. "It's good, huh?"

"Mhm!" She bounced, swallowing her food before grabbing more.

"Whoa, don't take too much at once, I don't want you to choke, okay?" You insisted as she nodded.

Watching the two of you interact as Kylo picked at his food, he couldn't help but get caught up in how well you treated his daughter. How you cared for her, how you treated her... fed her, shared a bed... Loved her like a mother would. It was all he wished Ellia had since day one when her birth mother left the infant.

The thoughts that resurfaced caused him to bend the utensil in his grip without realizing it, earning a look from both you and Ellia. "You okay daddy?" She asked as the metal instrument fell onto the table.

"Yes. Sorry, I thought about a... lingering issue within the First Order." He insisted with a nod as you frowned.

"Is there any way I can help?" You asked, Kylo's head snapping over at you as you lifted your eyebrows.

"Believe me, you already are." He said as you let out a quiet  _oh_.

Yawning, Ellia slumped against you with a belly round and full of food. "Mama I sleepy..." She spoke with heavy lidded eyes.

"Did you eat too much?" You chuckled, eyeing her as she slowly nodded. "Would you like to nap?"

"Mhm..." She hummed, nuzzling into you as she yawned again.

Eyeing his daughter, Kylo reached over and caressed Ellia's hair. "Let's take you back to our chambers and you can nap."

"Okays..." Ellia sighed, instantly falling asleep against you as you chuckled.

"I should join her, she's latched onto me like a spidermonkey." You smiled, standing up and carrying Ellia.

Slowly nodding, Kylo stood up. "Yes, of course." Gesturing for you to exit before him, you did so, leaving the dining table set up in the throne room. Walking alongside Kylo to his chambers, he opened the door and allowed you in first.

Standing there and waiting for Kylo to lead you, he brought you to the spare room that would soon be Ellia's, a bed much too big for a toddler, but perfect for you to fit in with her. "You dont mind that I—"

"No." He shook his head. "I will be back in the throne room, tending to my duties, I will be back to check on Ellia." At that, Kylo left a kiss on Ellia's head, eyed you for a moment, then left.

Sighing, you walked over to the bed and carefully settled Ellia down, then sitting at the edge and removed your boots, only to spot something in her room. Standing up from the bed, you walked over to her dresser and spotted an array of drawings that you knew to be hers. Smiling, you sifted through them to see they were all of you... You with Ellia, you with your TIE Fighter, you with Ellia and Kylo, and... you with Kylo.

Your face began to heat up at that, seeing as they were of the two of you standing close to one another... holding hands.

Hearing gentle sounds coming from Ellia, you turned and spotted her sleeping form reaching over the bed, as if searching for you.

Smiling, you walked over and grabbed her hand, joining her and placing her tiny arm over you before kissing her forehead. "I'm right here, princess." Feeling her bury herself into you, you shut your eyes and instantly knocked right out.

 

* * *

 

Returning to his chambers after two hours, nearly losing track of time, Kylo eyed the living area of his quarters, only to then sense the pair of life forms in Ellia's rooms. Walking over and waving his hand for the door to open, he stopped at the threshold, eyeing both you and Ellia as she was curled up into your chest, your chin resting on top of her head.

Feeling his heart skip a beat, he looked over to the left of him, spotting Ellia's drawings, noticing the ones that were on top were the ones of you and him. Biting his inner lip, he heard soft moaning, causing him to look over to see you carefully stretching.

Gulping, Kylo looked back at the drawing, then at you as your focus met his. "Hello..." You smiled.

"I..." Sucking in a breath, Kylo cleared his throat. "Would you like to join me this evening as I give my TIE Silencer a few test runs?"

"As in to fly with you?" You asked as he nodded.

"You would go in your own ship, of course..." He clarified as you nodded.

Smiling at him, an idea came to mind, "Can we... race?"

"Race?" He furrowed his eyebrows.

"Yes... To see who pilots better." You grinned, but Kylo scoffed.

"Are you assuming that you pilot better than me, pilot?" Kylo arched an eyebrow.

"...Possibly..." You trailed, grinning at him.

"Then I suppose we must see who truly is the better pilot." Kylo crossed his arms as you smirked. "I will get the Knights to watch over Ellia." At that, Kylo walked off, leaving you there smiling.

Eventually, after Ellia had awoken and was informed that you would be with her father for a bit and that the Knights would watch her—in which she did not mind whatsoever—you found yourself in the hangar.

"Let's make a deal," you said as you held your helmet—one that wasn't your own since Kylo still had it, "whoever wins can make any offer they want."

Looking down at you, Kylo smirked. "Fair enough."

"Let's get to it." You winked, turning on your heel and aiming for your starfighter.

Kylo stood there for a moment, watching you walk away as you had winked at him, sucking in a deep breath before turning away and entering his ship.

The two of you decided who ever would finish three laps around the Star Destroyer would be the winner, starting once the first TIE Fighter flew out of the hangar after setting the rules.

"Prepare yourself to lose, Kylo. I was one of the greatest racers on my planet." You spoke into the com link.

Huffing, Kylo glared. "I  _never_  lose."

Snickering, you shook your head saying "sure you don't" before flying off.

Flying three laps around the large vessel, neck at neck, as you couldn't help but laugh the whole time whenever you'd hear Kylo curse on his end of the com link, the final lap was soon reaching its end.

Seeing the finish line come up—which was the hangar itself—Kylo's competitive side was peaking as he tried and tried to beat you. But when the moment came, you flew past him and reached the hangar first. "Kriff!"

"And you said you  _never_  lose." You teased before landing as Kylo soon had done the same.

Hopping out of your ship and removing your helmet, you spotted a slump Kylo climbing out of his and aiming for you. "What is your offer,  _dearest pilot_." He spoke through tight teeth as you couldn't help but smile.

"Hmm..." Tapping your chin, you then wore a cheeky grin, "I get to pilot  _your_  TIE Silencer."

Growing wide eyed, Kylo looked over at his ship, then at you as you nodded. "You—"

"You agreed to the deal,  _sir_." You grinned.

Huffing as Kylo tightened his fists, he let out a disgruntled "fine."

"Yay!" You exclaimed, only to cover your mouth as he narrowed his eyebrows.

"But under  _one_  condition." Kylo pointed a finger.

" _Kylo_..." You whined as your shoulders dropped.

"I have to be there, too, with you as you pilot."

Sighing, you nodded, "Okay, fine."

Turning on his heel and leading the way, Kylo entered his ship before you had.

"Uh... Kylo?" Scratching the side of your head as you eyed him, you bit your inner cheek. "Where do I... sit?"

Already sitting in the pilots seat, Kylo opened his legs wider as your eyes grew in size. "Here, of course."

Blinking, you eyed Kylo, then the spot between his legs, feeling your heart skip a beat.

"Well?"

"I..." Sucking in a deep breath, your lips pouted. Ever since your eyes landed on Kylo's Silencer, you wanted nothing more than to ride it, and now that you had the opportunity to, you couldn't possibly miss it! "I suppose..." Taking the spot in between his legs as you now faced the council, you gasped at the sight before you, completely forgetting the situation you were put in.

Kylo couldn't help but smirk at your amazement, knowing that feeling every time he flew his beautiful ship.

Taking off and flying around the open space, not going too far off from the main ship, you couldn't help but make excited noises as you had. A smile forced itself on to Kylo's lips at the cute sounds leaving you. Why were you so precious? It wasn't fair to him when you were supposed to be his daughter's (and his) friend.

_Just a friend._

Not someone he saw to be beautiful, who made the funniest faces and sounds. And definitely not someone who made him happy the way you did.

And it definitely did not help that he made you sit in between his legs.

Clearing his throat and his mind, trying to focus away from the feeling of you pressed against him, Kylo spoke up, "How... did you get so good at piloting?"

Drifting in the open space, you smiled, "My mother was a pilot who brought in imports as my father was a mechanic." You nodded. "She taught me everything she knew! I also had some friends who were learning as well and we taught one another... I even had my mother's friends teach me. I basically gathered all the knowledge I learned, and, well... I'm a better pilot than  _yooou_." You teased as Kylo couldn't help but half smile. "What about you?"

At your question, Kylo's heart sank. "It runs through my blood."

Furrowing your eyebrows, you looked over your shoulder for a moment. "Are you being dramatic or do you mean that your family are expert pilots?"

"...Both?"

Smiling at him as you let out a snort of a laugh, you looked back ahead. "I very well know that you are a dramatic man."

Frowning as his bottom lip stick out at your comment, he sighed, "I... Am I really that bad?"

Shrugging, you laughed, "You can be. I mean... I am sitting in between your legs because you won't let me pilot your ship on my own."

"That isn't dramatic!" He exclaimed, but that made you laugh harder. "It isn't!"

"Of course, Kylo." You nodded, looking out at the stars.

Huffing and leaning back in his spot, Kylo eyed the back of you, eager to just feel you against his hands. "My father taught me how to pilot... He and my uncle are... expert pilots."

"Ahh, so you weren't entirely being dramatic." You said, still looking ahead.

"My grandfather, as well..."

Smiling, you turned enough in your spot to eye him with a smirk, "Runs through the blood."

Nodding his head, Kylo gazed at you, eyes bouncing around your face. "Much like you, in a sense."

"Yes, well, it's the women in my family that pilot." You softly spoke with a smile.

"Still, impressive." Kylo said.

"Most impressive." You winked as a small grin grew on Kylo's lips. "Would you look at that, he smiles!"

Rolling his eyes and turning his head away, you then looked back ahead. "I am not two dimensional,  _pilot_."

"I know that,  _king_." You fired back, although there was a smile on your lips that lingered.

Sucking in a small breath, Kylo bit down on his tongue as he returned his focus back to you, eyeing your backside and how you perfectly fit in between his thighs.

With shaky, gloved fingers, Kylo reached out and carefully caressed your arm as you shivered—even if you had two layers of clothing blocking your skin.

Turning to look at him as a silence filled the confines of the Silencer, nothing but the vibrations being felt, Kylo's hand reached out to cup your cheek before he leaned in and kissed you.

Holding your breath as your heart fluttered rapidly like an uncaged Aiwha, you reached over and held onto his wrist as you kissed him back. Your blood was rushing as you slowly became lightheaded, heart racing as Kylo lifted you onto his lap and deepened the kiss, slipping his tongue past your lips as it met your own.

Wrapping your free arm over his shoulder as you pressed into him, practically breathing against one another as teeth met teeth and noses bumped into one another, you pushed back and took in a deep breath. You hunched over, trying to catch your breath as a small laugh left your lips. "Sorry... I couldn't breathe."

Eyeing you, Kylo smiled. "I would hate to suffocate you as I tried to kiss you..."

Blushing, you looked over at him as your chest heaved. "So, Ellia  _was_  right..."

Slowly nodding his head, Kylo leaned in and gently kissed your cheek before whispering in your ear, "I do find you  _very_  pretty."

Shivering at the feeling of his breath against your neck, you gulped, turning to look at him as your lips were inches away from one another. "Thank you..."

Smirking, Kylo held the back of your neck before closing the gap to kiss you again. He was latched onto you as you latched onto him, nearly forgetting where you were, as if you weren't in open space. Tilting your head as Kylo's tongue ran along your own, moving and pressing against one another, he pulled back and brought your bottom lip in between his teeth before resting his forehead against yours.

"I've very much wanted to do that for a while now..." Kylo confessed as you softly smiled.

"How long?" You asked, curiosity getting the best of you.

"Since the moment I realized you truly loved my daughter more than her birth mother could... and maybe before that."

 

* * *

 

"Mama!" Ellia exclaimed as she spotted you walking alongside her father. She was just about to break out into a sprint until Kylo slid his hand into yours. "Daddy with mama now?!" She shrieked in excitement, clapping her hands. "It 'bout time! I gonna make you go on date!"

"Is that so, princess?" You asked with a smile as Ellia threw her hands up and nodded as if it was obvious.

"I ready did! I got knight help!" She waved her hands. "I wonder how long you take! But I see you hold hand... Dis mean you two— _hehe_ —smoochie!" She giggled as your cheeks turned pink. "Daddy and mama smoochie! Hehe!"

Tightening his grip around your hand reassuringly, Kylo brushed his thumb against the back of it before Ellia rushed over and grabbed his free hand. "Little princess, where are you taking us?" He asked as he allowed his daughter to pull him.

"You see! You see!" Dragging her father—who tugged you along the way—Ellia eventually led you to a barren viewport before the stars... where in the distance sat a table for two. "I make happen! Knight help! Auntie Phasma, too!"

"Phasma, huh?" Kylo huffed But you gently tugged his hand.

"That was very nice of her, you spoke up, "and super sweet of you, princess." Slipping from Kylo's grip, you crouched before Ellia to hug her as she instantly hugged back, kissing the tip of her button nose before standing back up and aiming for the table. "Is this just dinner for—"

"Daddy and mama! I not join! It you two... I go back with knight and Phasma! Okays! Have funs!" Ellia waved at you, rushing up to her father and kissing his leg before running right off.

Standing there for a moment at how swift his daughter was, you couldn't help but chuckle and reach for his hand again, pulling him along to the table.

"She is nothing like me... nor her birth mother. I don't know how she came to be." Kylo spoke as you shook your head with a smile. "She's insanely generous..."

"And has a heart of gold." You nodded. "Which I'm sure you have, too. When it's not locked and hidden." Smiling up at Kylo as he turned his focus from the table, down to you, he took in a small breath.

"If you so desire my heart of gold to be unlocked and exposed... so be it. But only you and Ellia will see it." He said as your smile grew.

"That means more for  _us_."

"Mhm." Leaning forward and kissing your forehead, Kylo walked you to your seat, pulling it back before pushing it in, then taking his own.

The dinner was set up like any other except with cute little decorations Ellia had put together and made. The atmosphere was peaceful and gentle as you shared small conversations with Kylo, enjoying each other's company as you smiled at one another when the other spoke—a side of Kylo you never thought to see but truly loved.

As time passed and you ate your dinner, sipped at a glass of wine and spoke to Kylo about the many races you've joined and won, the two of you found yourselves standing before the large pane of glass that separated you from outer space.

With an arm wrapped around your waist, keeping you pressed partially against him, the two of you shared his cape as he tucked you into him. Gazing out at the stars, eyeing the way they sparkled and shined in the distance, you leaned your head against him as you moved your hand to reach over and intertwine with his free one, fingers interlocking before he brought the back of your hand to his lips.

And then he moved his kisses to your wrist...

Then your forearm and inner elbow up your arm, across your shoulder, as he turned you.

Taking deep breaths as you felt his soft lips press flush against your skin, along your neck with gentle swipes of his tongue, you shut your eyes. Nipping at the tip of your jaw before kissing along your cheek, his lips hovered over your own as you felt his breathing.

"You are enjoying this more than I expected..." You sniggered, opening your eyes to look into his own.

"And that should be a very good thing." Kylo nearly whispered before closing the gap. Tugging you by your waist, pressing you against his chest as his arms locked you into place, Kylo's lips moved in harmony with your own as your tongues had, too.

Sharing deeper kisses, pressing himself against you as much as he could without hurting you, you slid your hands over his shoulders and into his hair. Brushing your fingers through the strands and gently tugging, Kylo's hands slid up your sides, feeling your curves before reaching over and grabbing handfuls of your rear, causing you to squeal.

Grinning at the sound, Kylo slid his hands over your hips and up your stomach, palms open as they ran over your breasts and gave them a light squeeze.

"Ky— Kylo..." You whined as you wanted to pull his hands back to where they just were, Kylo lifted you before falling to his knees and settling you down underneath him, peppering your jaw with kisses before an idea came to mind.

Gently tugging on the zipper of your jumpsuit and tugging down your turtle neck, Kylo's eyes caught the sliver of skin exposed as his heart skipped a beat. Leaning in and biting onto the small patch of skin before licking and kissing it, you made the soft sound of a moan that made him groan. Just as Kylo was about to completely unzip your jump suit, the sudden sound of the viewport doors opening caught your attention as Kylo snarled.

"Master Ren..." One of the knights spoke as Kylo helped you to your feet. "There is a sudden issue at hand." They announced as your eyebrows knitted.

"What is it?" Kylo asked as he stood before you, enough for you to peak over.

"It's Ellia, sir." The Knight sighed as both you and Kylo furrowed your eyebrows. "She is in the infirmary."


	4. Dream About Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ellia recovers and Kylo craves your attention.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight warning that there's a hint of NSFW, but nothing too intense... just yet!

Kylo Ren hadn't given himself, nor you, the chance to think the Knight's words through. Instead, he reached for your hand and pulled you with him, rushing past the Knight and sprinting to the med bay. You could hardly keep up with his long steps, nearly losing your footing as you tried to match Kylo's own, you slipped from his grip.

Reaching for Kylo as you tried catching your breath, you slowed your pace and rubbed your face. You were still worked up from moments before, heart racing faster than your TIE Fighter reaching lightspeed. You wanted to run to Ellia's side, more than concerned for her, but your legs were too shaky and your breathing was burning your lungs.

Taking in a deep breath, just about to chase after Kylo, you were suddenly lifted off of your feet as a small gasp left your lips.

Kylo was sprinting down the halls with you in his hold, earning confused looks from officers and passing 'troopers who assumed something must've been wrong seeing as Kylo wasn't one to carry anyone—aside his daughter—around.

Entering the med wing with ragged breathing and wild eyes, all the nurses that stood nearby pointed to the room Ellia was in. Kylo didn't spare a second, breathing in and spotting his daughter sitting on the bed beside Phasma and the other five Knights.

"Little princess?" Kylo panted, still holding you in his arms. Ellia looked pale and with a small frown on her lips, but at the sight of you and her father, a weak smile grew on them.

"Daddy, mama!" She softly exclaimed. "Why you hold mama?"

"I— I was— Is everything alright, little princess?" Kylo breathed.

"I sick... Tummy ache..." She frowned as you wiggled yourself  out of Kylo's grip.

Walking over to Ellia's side and running your fingers through her hair, you gave her a sweet smile. "You've got a stomach bug, huh?"

"Mhm..." She frowned, leaning into your touch. "I puke... No feel good..."

Caressing her round cheeks and kissing her forehead, you pulled a chair to sit next to her. "Everything will be alright, princess. I've had stomach bugs before."

"Oh nos! Mama not get sick..." She frowned but you lightly laughed.

"It's okay, angel, that was a while ago. I'm fine now." You nodded as her eyes widened.

"I get better?!" She gasped.

"Of course you will! Stomach bugs happen to everyone. Bad food cause it most of the time..." You nodded as Ellia sunk into her spot as if guilty, causing your eyebrows to furrow. "What is it?"

"Daddy say not eat lot candy..." She mumbled as a distressed Kylo narrowed his eyebrows, standing in silence the whole time. "I ate lot candy... too many... When auntie Phasma not looking..."

"Oh..." You slowly nodded, looking over at Kylo who took in a small breath before walking over and kneeling beside you.

"Now do you understand why I say not to eat so much candy?" He asked as Ellia pouted, looking at her father and nodding. "You should really listen to me..." Kylo softly spoke as Ellia let out a huff.

"I know..." She frowned, but Kylo reached out and held her cheek, brushing his thumb against it. "I sorry, daddy..."

Smiling at her, Kylo stood up and left a long kiss against the top of her head. "It's okay. You had me worried..."

Jumping in her spot as her eyes widened, she gasped, "I imbertupt date! Oh nos!"

Chuckling, you shook your head. "It's alright, princess. We both had a very lovely time." You said as Ellia smiled.

"Oh, thank star! I not want ruin date!" She shook her head, but Kylo nuzzled his nose against hers. "Daddy really like mama?" She asked as Kylo had leaned back and nodded. "I right all long." Ellia crossed her arms as the Knights bit their tongues. They—and Phasma—were well aware of what was going on, seeing as Ellia considered them her aunts and uncles, telling them everything.

And Kylo had an inkling of this.

But, instead of getting furious, he let it be. After all, the Knights and Phasma had helped him with Ellia since day one.

Looking over at those who stood on the opposite side of the bed, helmets tucked underneath their arms, Kylo nodded a silent  _thank you_. Earning a bow of their heads back, Kylo looked at Phasma who gave him a small, reassuring smile. "If you are willing to be with me and be the mother of Ellia, it's a package deal," Kylo aimed his words towards you as you shifted your focus away from Ellia, "The Knights and Phasma are family, as well."

Grinning, you let out a soft laugh, "I am very well aware of this." Placing a hand on Kylo's arm, you nodded. "As long as they're okay with me—"

"Of course!"

"Anything for our Master and little Master."

"I mean, do we have to—"

"Hey!"

"I'm kidding!"

"I like her already!"

"I've liked her since day  _one_ when she _first_ joined." Phasma smirked, interrupting the chirping Knights as the final Knight walked in.

Blushing as you looked over at Kylo, he simply shrugged before squeezing his way into your seat, lifting you up and placing you on his lap with an arm securing your waist. "I'm glad you all have accepted her, but she is  _mine_."

Shaking your head at his words, you reached your hand to rest against his as it rested on your lap, slipping your fingers in between his own. "Well, that makes you mine, as well."

"It's only fair..." Kylo sighed.

"She mine, too! My mama!" Ellia exclaimed, reaching over to you as you used your free hand to hold hers.

Smiling over at her, the load of you spent the next few hours at Ellia's bed side. Although the Knights and Phasma came in and out, you stayed with Kylo all throughout.

It was late on the ship and you were beginning to sway. With the eventful day you had, it was hard to stay awake for Ellia's sake. You tried your best to watch over her—even if Kylo was beside you—but your eyes fell heavy. Ellia had stayed awake, watching her favorite holo-show as she had to take medicine, and you wanted to be there for the process, but only found yourself knocking right out against Kylo's chest.

"Mama sleep..." Ellia whispered as she pointed. "I lower sound." She nodded, doing so.

Kylo repositioned you to make you more comfortable against him, using his cape as a blanket for you as you were completely out from consciousness. Reaching up and gently rubbing at your scalp as he kissed your head, Kylo stayed up the rest of the night, making sure Ellia got her medicine and rest.

When morning had come, and your body began to ache, you sat up enough, just to feel Kylo's dead weight against you. He was fast asleep and so was Ellia.

"Excuse me?" Looking over and spotting a doctor, you smiled. "Hi, I'm Dr. Kaili, Ellia's previous doctor had to run to a patient so I'm here to see that everything is good and in shape for her to leave." The woman smiled back as you nodded. "You must be her mother?"

Blushing, you spoke up, "Yes." Feeling Kylo's grip tighten around you, your cheeks turned a darker shade. Had he heard you? You were sure he had now that you could feel a smile from on his lips against your head where it rested.

"Wonderful! I'm just reading some scans and doing small, routine check ups." She explained. "She's been up for quite some time with the stomach bug so its best we let her rest once she's released."

"Okay." You breathed, watching the doctor move around.

Shifting, Kylo sat up and straightened his back, loosening his grip around you just enough for you to do the same. "Good morning, Supreme Leader." Dr. Kaili spoke as she checked Ellia's heart rate.

"Good morning, doctor." He spoke, husk, morning voice causing you to shiver.

And Kylo caught this, gently leaning in to you and kissing just under your ear before whispering a good morning to you as you trembled. Your skin broke out into goosebumps as chills travelled down your spine. "Morning..." You replied back, looking over at him as he half smiled, kissing your cheek before he stood up and settled you in the seat so he could properly stretch.

"Alright, everything is looking good." Dr. Kaili spoke with a nod, informing both you and Kylo the Ellia was able to leave the moment she cleared her and got the nurses to remove all that was connected to Ellia.

Eventually, after helping a half asleep Ellia into your arms once she was released, you walked along side Kylo back to his quarters as Ellia stayed sleeping against you. With an arm around your waist as he guided you, Kylo gestured for you to enter before him as you went to settle Ellia on her bed while Kylo watched at the doorway.

"I heard you."

"Hmm?" You hummed, looking over at him before kissing Ellia's forehead, walking back to him and grabbing the pair of dolls he held that belonged to his daughter, placing them beside her. You hadn't noticed until then that—not only was one a pilot—but the other resembled her father. Smiling, you lightly shook your head.

"You said you were Ellia's mother." Kylo said as you snapped out of your thoughts circling the dolls.

"Oh, I—" Turning to face him, Kylo shook his head and walked over, resting his gloved knuckles against your cheek.

"Don't even think about apologizing..." He gazed into your eyes. "It's all Ellia and I ever wanted for her. A mother. A real one. One who would love her unconditionally, no matter if she were related or not. Blood doesn't matter. What matters is how you treat her. How you care for her.  _That's_  what makes you her  _mama_." Kylo insisted as you couldn't help but smile, leaning into his touch. "Thank you. I know this was not what you signed on for when you joined the First Order, but—"

"It's even better." You interjected with a wide grin that you wouldn't dare hide. "I may be considered new and just another pilot to everyone else... but you and Ellia have given me somewhere to feel like home. You have given me friends and a family... None that I had since I left them all behind to do what I am passionate about." You added. "I may not be a Force user, have a tragic story, or even a compelling one... but being around you and Ellia—aside from beating you at being the best pilot—makes me feel so special."

Smiling at your words, feeling his heart inflate at the way you looked at him, as if he were the brightest, most beautiful star in the galaxy, Kylo leaned in and pressed his forehead against yours as his hand fell to your hip. "I don't need any of that. I don't need you to have Force abilities, to have a heartbreaking story that made you into the person you are today... I don't need any of that. No matter your story, it doesn't change a thing. I just need you.  _She_  needs you.  _We_  need you."

Shutting your eyes for a moment, feeling them slightly well up, you tilted your chin up enough to kiss him. Reaching up to hold his face, Kylo lifted you by your waist and walked you out of Ellia's room before settling you and nuzzling your cheek with his large nose. "I need me, too." You teased as a snort left Kylo.

Leaning back and swiping your nose, he shook his head. "I'll remember that when  _you_  need  _me_." He smirked as you arched an eyebrow, lifting your chin with his finger. "Believe me, you  _will_."

 

* * *

 

Days had passed since Ellia's appearance in the infirmary and your first kiss with Kylo. You had found yourself sleeping in his chambers every night as your clothes slowly made their way into his closet. Bit by bit, your personal items were appearing in his quarters. From refresher essentials to even your favorite pillow that smelt like him. Kylo insisted you stay with him for Ellia, but the both of you knew  _he_  wanted you there, as well.

You spent breakfast and dinner with him, the occasional lunch as well. When you had missions or rounds to take, it almost seemed as if Kylo missed you more than Ellia with the way he appeared in the hangar, already waiting for you.

Only the Knights, Phasma, and a few doctors knew you were with Kylo, everyone else assumed he was picking favorites. And he wanted to keep it that way for as long as he could, keeping his public displays of affection to a minimum. He did—on the occasion—hold your hand, and when no one was looking, he'd kiss your cheek.

And the affection wouldn't stop there in private.

Kylo was very hands on, constantly grabbing at and caressing you, finding new areas you liked to be kissed at. Discovering your weak spots in which he'd leave bite marks. Kylo, although very affectionate with his mouth, also had his moments where he just needed simple human contact and would hug you or rest his head against your shoulder. There was even instances where his much larger body would press or plop against your own and just stay there for what felt like hours. Anything to keep him at bay after a  _long_  day on the throne.

And today was another long day on the throne.

Ellia had been left with the Knights as she liked watching them train, which left Kylo approaching his chambers, hoping to find you. But when he entered, he found no one. The walls were filled with silence as he eyed the living space. Feeling his shoulders drop in disappointment nearly forgetting you wouldn't be back for a while due to a short mission, he shrugged his cape off, placed it over his couch, and plopped onto it, face first. His body ached as he felt as if a wampa ran him over, his eyes were heavy and he wanted nothing more than to wrap you in his arms and sleep for twelve hours.

Lazily dropping your helmet before the door, punching in the code and walking in, you unzipped your jumpsuit and tossed it over the couch, spotting Kylo as a smile grew on your face. Carefully, you climbed on top of him and pressed soft kisses against the back of his neck as you had pushed his hair to a side, earning soft groans from him.

The two of you stayed in silence like that for a while, Kylo's back lifting you with each breath he took. Your eyes fell closed as you listened to his soft breathing, a finger twirling some of his hair before you felt his own hand reach over to feel you against it. Lifting your head, you caught it and removed his glove before kissing his fingers.

"How was it?" Kylo grumbled as you dangled your arm over his shoulder, holding onto his hand.

"Tiring... But good..." You lazily spoke. "Everything went as planned, got to even see some of the planet..."

"Really, hmm?" Feeling you nod against him, Kylo played with your fingers. They were much smaller than his and it almost felt as if he could break them if he squeezed them a bit too hard. He stayed cautious of that, gently gripping your hand as he eyed it.

"Yeah... My next mission is an over night one..." You breathed as Kylo couldn't help but frown. You hadn't have one of those since you started looking after Ellia.

"When?" He asked.

You sat in silence for a moment, listening to the vessel's hum and Kylo's breathing. You just wanted to stay there and only there. You didn't want to go anywhere else, just to stay in his warmth and comfort... "In two days.."

"Oh..." Bringing your hand to his lips as he kissed your knuckles, one by one, he sighed. "Where to?"

"...Hoth. Shouldn't you know all of this?" You asked.

"I do... but I was hoping it wasn't your squadron..." Kylo huffed.

"Why?"

"It's cold..." He simply stated as you smiled.

"I know. I don't do well with the cold... My home planet was humid..." You frowned.

Lying there, thinking, Kylo took in a small breath. "I will join you."

"What?" You lifted your head. "But... You have your own duties here? And Ellia? I wouldn't want her to deal with the cold..." Shaking your head, Kylo gave your fingers a squeeze.

"She will stay with the Knights and Phasma. I've done it a few times before on missions that were much too intense for her. Only on rare occasions... but I trust them with my life, and I  _hardly_  trust anyone." Kylo explained.

Resting your head against his back once again, you hummed. "It's because they helped raised her, huh?"

"Yes." Kylo lowly spoke. "I wouldn't let just anyone watch over her. Only the Knights and Phasma... Though, she is a curious one and likes to meet others within the ship, she knows better not to linger too long. She nearly loves everyone she meets... Except for some..."

Feeling your laugh rumble within your chest, you smiled, "Who?"

"...General Hux—"

Bursting out into laughter, you instantly covered your mouth with your free hand. "Did she get that from you?"

"I!  _Tolerate_  him..." Kylo clarified. " _Somewhat_..."

"Sure you do..." You nodded.

"I am being a good Supreme Leader. Even if that means I have to be around people I rather fling into open space." He huffed.

"Glad I'm not one of them." You mumbled, only to hear the chambers door open.

"Daddy! Mama!" Hearing Ellia's voice call out, followed by the patting of her boot covered feet, you felt her climb on top of you and plop on your back as you let out a small noise. "We nap?"

"Somewhat..." Kylo hummed.

"How was your day, Ellia?" You asked as she nuzzled into your back. You were sure if anyone else was around, they would be questioning why there was a pile of humans resting on top of one another.

"It good... I watch Knight train! I see auntie Phasma with them! They kick butt. I wan' fight like them one day..." She breathed, draping her tiny arms over your shoulders as she buried her face in your hair. "I wan' pilot like you, mama."

"You will, sweet angel." You nodded, realizing Kylo hadn't said a thing. "Kylo?"

Furrowing her eyebrows, Ellia frowned, "Daddy?"

Getting no response, you heard soft snores leave him as you smiled. "He fell asleep."

"Oh, he tired!" Ellia nodded. "We let him sleep, we go play?"

Kissing Kylo's neck, you felt Ellia roll off of you and walk over to face you, awaiting your answer. Her pleading eyes were hard to say no to, so you carefully moved off of Kylo. But he thought differently as he wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you back, rolling onto his side. "Hrrrrrrgggfff..."

"Hmm?" You hummed But received no response from him.

Giggling, Ellia poked your nose. "Daddy wan' nap with you, I go play with dolls in room, okays?"

"I— I can—"

Shaking her head, Ellia leaned in and kissed your forehead. "Is okay, mama, you nap! Long day, you tired. I play with you 'nother time!" At that, she turned on her heel and skipped to her bedroom, leaving you there with a smile on your face as you were tucked into Kylo's warm chest. 

 

* * *

 

_"She's mine! She will always be!"_

_"No! You abandoned her! How dare you come back now and—"_

_"She's mine, and so is he!" The faceless figure roared, lurching itself towards you._

Gasping awake as you felt your body tremble momentarily as your heart raced, you blinked a few times as your eyes adjusted, realizing you were no longer on the couch... rather, a bed.

"It's time I tell you, hmm?" Hearing Kylo's voice, you turned your head to face him as he rested beside you, hand in your hair.

"You saw?" You lowly spoke as he nodded, causing you to turn away in shame.

Reaching over and rolling you onto your back, Kylo moved closer and gently kissed just under your ear. "She was an officer. I had known her for quite some time. Hardheaded... snappy. Snarky and demanding. She held her ground, did what she had to do... Got what she wanted..." Kylo explained as you listened. His focus was on your hair as he stroke his fingers through it, resting his head on a pillow besides yours. "And she gave to those who took..."

Turning your head to eye him with furrowed eyebrows, Kylo lifted his hand to gently place it on your neck as he brushed his thumb against your throat. "I was desperate, needy, I had my desires... and she fulfilled them. From time and time again. Until she had fallen pregnant and hadn't informed me. I hadn't know for quite some time as she was relocated after a false complain she made. I found out eventually and she claimed she didn't want the baby. She'd rather give them away to the stormtrooper program or not have them at all.

"But I wanted them. I wanted the child, as scary as it was. Because they were mine and they could learn from my mistakes." Kylo breathed. "She didn't like it, so when the day had come, and she had given birth without sending someone for me, I found the room empty, left with nothing but a newborn infant, fast asleep in her blanket."

Eyeing him, you reached over and carefully traced his face. "Ellia..."

"I saw her and I couldn't... I couldn't leave her there. I couldn't let my own flesh and blood be turned into a stormtrooper. I much prefer the cloning process, anyway... but that is apparently outdated and something else altogether..." Kylo trailed before you gently held his chin. "Ellia's birth mother means nothing. She's no one. She chose to not acknowledge me, chose to run away, chose to leave Ellia behind. It was all on her. The sad part was... I never loved her. Definitely not the way I lo—" Cutting himself off, Kylo gulped as you seemed too focus on disliking Ellia's birth mother than anything else. "I hadn't named Ellia for over a week. I had struggled as it was handling her without any experience. But she wasn't a troublesome baby... She was good.

"She hardly fussed, and that kind of concerned me... but I eventually learned that she was just a peaceful child... And I don't know how. Her birth mother and I are nowhere near peaceful. But, Ellia... Ellia is a blessing. I don't deserve such a wonderful child. But, I have her anyway."

Softly smiling, brushing your fingers against his cheek bones and nose, you scooted closer, "Where'd her name come from?" You curiously asked, now brushing his lips as he kissed your fingers, reaching for you hand and keeping it in place.

"My mother..." He mumbled. "Ellia has her eyes. Almost identical in the way they look into mine..."

"Ellia is your mother's name?" You curiously asked, but he shook his head.

For a moment, Kylo had nearly forgotten that not everyone in the galaxy knew of his origins or his family. "Leia is my mother's name. Leia Organa."

Smiling at the sound of his mother's name, Kylo took in a deep breath. You enjoyed the sound of it, it was beautiful, and you were sure the woman was, too, to have a son who looked as handsome as Kylo. "Leia..."

"Ellia is Leia rearranged... but with an extra 'L'... Because Ellia is an extra version of us." He slightly snickered as you smiled. "That's how her name came to be a week after her birth."

"You're a good man... A good father." You nodded, leaning in to kiss him. "And a good...  _boyfriend_..." You chuckled.

Lifting his hand to your cheek, Kylo brought you to him, lips meeting yours as he deepened the kiss. "If I'm a good man in your eyes, then you must be an actual saint in mine." He muttered against your lips, rolling on top of you to kiss you better as he held himself up.

"You  _are_  a good man." You spoke in between kisses. "Ellia is  _perfect_  because of you..."

Grinning at your words, Kylo left a trail of kisses down you cheek, to your neck, "She is perfect, huh? Just like her mama..."

Blushing at his words as your heart fluttered, you pushed him back and held his cheeks, kissing him, only to gasp. "Poor thing must be hungry!" Shoving Kylo as he fell off of the bed, you jumped to your feet and rushed out the door.

Grumbling, Kylo stood up and rubbed his back, "I should've seen that coming... Should've known she rather be there for my daughter than tend to my pathetic, hormonal desires..." Exiting his room, Kylo spotted you kneeling before Ellia, combing your fingers through her hair as she showed you all the toys she had been playing with.

"This one like daddy ship!" Ellia exclaimed, lifting the toy and flying it around "It go  _nyooom_!"

Eyeing the toy, thinking about the first kiss you and Kylo shared in his Silencer, you bit your inner lip as your cheeks burned. "M— Mhm—"

"Mama, why you so red?" Ellia chuckled as you gulped. "Is it daddy? Are you think 'bout him? Hehe!" Covering her face as she giggled, your eyebrows lifted as you felt Kylo's hand on your shoulder. "Daddy! Mama think 'bout yooou!"

"Is she?" Kylo smirked, sitting beside you as he crossed his legs, reaching over to pinch his daughter's cheek. "I think she is, too, with the way she's blushing..."

"Hehe! Mama blushing 'cause of you, daddy!" Ellia bounced in her spot, only to stop as her stomach grumbled. "Oh, nos... hungry..."

"I think it's time for dinner, little princess." Kylo said as he leaned in and kissed her forehead. "Would you prefer I order food to be delivered here?"

"Ye! I have holo-show! I not miss!" She shook her head as she stood to her feet and climbed onto her father's lap.

"Of course." Kylo smiled, leaning in and nuzzling his large nose against her tiny one.

You had been silent the whole time as Kylo hugged his daughter and cuddled her, much too lost in your thoughts to even realize Ellia had crawled onto your lap. "Mama, stop thinking 'bout daddy, I right here! Give me 'tention!" She pointed to herself, knocking you out of your trance, looking down at her and smiling.

"Sorry, princess, your father is a dream to me." You winked as she giggled and held her cheeks.

Grinning at your words, Kylo leaned in and left a soft kiss against your cheek, but Ellia shoved his face away. "Daddy! Mama need food like me!"

Sighing, Kylo stood up, "Of course..."

 

* * *

 

With full bellies and a satisfied Ellia, who excused herself to watch her holo-show, you helped Kylo clean up her toys before entering her room and seeing her completely knocked out. "Her show must've been boring." Kylo teased, earning a nudge from you.

"She ate a lot, must've made her sleepy." You softly spoke as you placed her toys back, then grabbing the holo pad and placing it on her nightstand.

Watching you clean up after Ellia before tucking her in and kissing her forehead, Kylo took in a deep breath. He was sure it was rare to find someone who would love a child so easily the way you had... especially when she was the daughter of a man like him.

Yet, there you were, putting Ellia's little boots in her closet as if it were your duty to clean up after the toddler.

You were too good for him. Much too good. Especially after how he treated you during your first encounter with him... and all those days that followed. But, you stayed. You watched after Ellia and cared for her. You gave him attention and a friendship he never head, not even with the Knights and Phasma...

And then you kissed him back the first time. You  _kept_  kissing him back, and he couldn't believe how lucky he was to have you there with him.

Walking away from Ellia's bed, about to exit the bedroom, Kylo caught your wrist and pulled you to him, bending forward and kissing you. With a hand clutching the back of your head as his other slid from your wrist, his arm snaked around your waist and slid his tongue past your lips, earning a small whimper from you.

Lifting you in his grip, exiting Ellia's room as the door slid closed, he brought you all the way to his. Pressing you against the wall to keep you balanced at his waist, his fingers dug into the flesh of your thighs, wanting nothing more than to rip your leggings off and get you underneath him.

"You're so good to Ellia..." He breathed into your neck, nipping at the skin. "So good to me..." licking your collar bone and sucking on your flesh, your breathing grew staggered. " _Mama_."

"Kylo..." Shutting your eyes as he pressed himself against you, your heart skipped a beat.

Hushing you, Kylo's hands slid up to your waist as he bucked his clothed hips against you, pressing wet kisses under your ear before nibbling your earlobe. "I know you think a lot about me..."

"I— "

"I bet you even  _dream_  about me..."

" _Kylo_..." You whined, knowing very well he could see your dreams.

"That's okay, I dream about you every night."


	5. I Love You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three words are shared that you almost fear Kylo regrets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am such a sucker... I keep adding more and more chapters... PS, enjoy the *clean* smut!

Kylo's words had echoed in your head on a loop, causing your heart to race. Your breath hitched at how low his voice went, much lower than how it sounded in the mornings.

Feeling your chest heave as you shut your eyes, trying to steady your racing heart, Kylo's hands roamed your body. Tugging your turtleneck over your head and tossing it behind him, Kylo's breathing grew heavy as he eyed your skin, wanting nothing more than to rip the rest of your clothes off. Eyeing the way your chest lifted and fell with every quick breath, trailing his eyes up your throat and up to your cheeks, the skin on them burned bright as your soft eyes fell open.

Kylo's heart thudded against his ribcage as his eyebrows lightly furrowed. There was a look in your eyes as if you were anxious... were you a— "Are you... Do you want to do this?" He asked as you blinked and nodded. "Truly?"

"Yes, Kylo..." You breathed, nodding eagerly, but you seemed much too flustered to properly look him in the eyes. Maybe he was taking it too far, maybe you only said yes for his sake... You were trembling in his grip as your legs shook against his waist. If he were to be with you, he wanted to do things  _right_. Not force himself upon you.

Letting you go as he settled you down, he backed up with a huff and rubbed his face, leaving you with a confused expression. High and dry.

"Kylo?" Your voice trembled.

Lowering his hands to face you, Kylo grumbled, "I don't want to hurt you your first time."

Grinning, you shook your head, "First time?"

Blinking, Kylo slowly nodded, "Aren't you..."

Sucking in your lips to fight a laugh, you shook your head again. "No... I'm not..."

"You're... not?" Kylo spoke through tight teeth, jealousy dripping like venom from his words.

Huffing and straightening your back, you crossed your arms, "No, I've slept with other people before... Just, not as of late."

"...Hmm..." Kylo didn't look you in the eyes, instead, looked down at his feet stubbornly.

"Don't be so jealous..." You teased, slowly walking over to him and reaching for his hand.

"Hmph." He breathed through his nose, allowing you to pull him to you.

"Look, it's been quite some time since I've slept with someone, especially since I joined the Order..." You trailed, tugging him down to your height, "so, let's say it's  _almost_  like I haven't before.  _Almost_."

Looking down at you as his eyes jumped around your face, Kylo sighed, "It isn't the  _same_."

Rolling your eyes, you tugged him further for his lips to meet your own, "It may not be, but you can be the best I've had."

" _The_  best you will  _ever_  have." Kylo corrected, lifting you from your feet and placing you on the bed, tugging off your leggings and leaving a trail of long kisses up your legs.

Watching him as he pressed his lips over your hip bones and up your stomach, Kylo's hands caressed the skin on your thighs as he kissed the exposed skin of your breasts. Biting and leaving a mark against the agitated skin, eyeing the red spot he left in his wake, Kylo lifted himself to remove the top portion of his attire and tossed it to a side.

Sitting up in your spot and undoing his pants as Kylo helped you, he tugged them off before crawling on top of you. Running his fingers through your hair as you looked him in the eyes, Kylo's hand reached the back of your neck as he leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss against your lips.

Lifting your hands into his hair and pressing your tongue past his teeth, you fell back onto the bed with him as you rolled on top of him as his large hands encased your back.

Reaching up for your sports bra, tugging it over your head, Kylo flipped you onto your back as his lips went straight for your breasts. Attacking them with kisses, earning breathy moans from you with every swipe of his tongue and bite from his teeth encasing your sensitive skin, Kylo lowly growled against your skin.

Tugging at his hair as you whined, desperately wanting to kiss him more, Kylo rubbed himself against you at a slow pace. Although either of your underwear was still on, his heart fluttered as your insides twisted. Hooking your leg over his waist and lifting your hips to meet his own, Kylo breathed against your skin as he tried to tug off his underwear while wrapping an arm around you.

Keeping your bodies together, pressing against one another in pure desperation, Kylo used his free hand to glide down your cheek and neck, gripping your breast before his fingers drummed against your stomach. Reaching the waistband of your panties, Kylo nearly ripped them off with a swift pull as your breath hitched against his shoulder. Aligning himself with you as he buried his face within your neck, Kylo filled you inch by inch as your grip around his hair tightened.

With staggered breathing as he stretched you open, your nails dug into his scalp as he pulled his hips back before snapping them into you at a rate you knew he was forcing himself to keep. With every thrust, Kylo found a spot on your skin to kiss, moaning into them as you took in heavy breaths, bodies rocking as Kylo lifted your other leg over his waist.

Reaching your core, listening to the sounds that escaped your lips as you clawed at his hair and shoulders, trying to grasp onto something, Kylo kissed you. Bucking his hips, picking up his pace as you moaned and whined, you felt your breathing get caught as a sensation worked it's way down you as you came.

Riding it out as Kylo's lips lazily moved against yours, kissing your bottom lip and chin, his breathing was felt against your neck as he slowed his hip movements before pulling out. Slumping against you as your legs fell to his sides, Kylo left feather-like kisses underneath your jaw. "You're so beautiful..." Kylo hummed, rubbing his palm along your arm. "So soft and—" Cutting himself off as he lifted his head, Kylo arched an eyebrow. "She fell asleep..." He grumbled underneath his breath, shaking his head before kissing your forehead and rolling off of you. Lifting you in his arms and pulling the sheets back, he tucked you in before nuzzling his nose against your cheek, "You have me wrapped around your kriffing finger..."

 

* * *

 

Shivering as you effortlessly tugged on the sheets encasing you, your eyes fluttered open as you felt as if you lost track of time. Feeling the bed shift beside you, you looked over to spot Kylo sitting beside you, picking at a dessert as a bottle of win sat in between his clothed legs.

Looking over at you and grinning, you quickly hid your face underneath the sheets. "My dear pilot, why are you hiding when I've already seen your beautiful body?"

"...I fell asleep on you..." You mumbled, hiding your face in embarrassment.

"Yes, after I rammed you into my bed." Kylo said as if it were nothing. "You were exhausted after a long day."

Huffing, you lowered the blanket and spotted Kylo holding a spoonful of the sweet dessert, gesturing for you to try. Sitting up and holding the sheets to your chest, you leaned in and opened your mouth, closing your lips around the spoon and pulling back as Kylo winked. "Hmm..."

"Do you like it?" He asked, watching you chew away.

"Mhm!" You smiled, scooting closer to him as you held the sheets higher to keep you warm.

"You want more?" Kylo arched an eyebrow as you nodded against his arm.

"I've been deprived of good desserts for a while now, especially since us lower ranked soldiers don't get fancy desserts." You stated, opening your mouth as Kylo served you more. "I could use you for this."

"Is that so?" He asked, taking the last bite as you frowned. "Is that why you are with me?"

"Mhm..." You hummed as you spotted the bit of cream from Kylo's upper lip, causing you to huff. "You could've split that last piece..."

"It's a good thing you're in a relationship with the Supreme Leader, he could order more." Kylo shrugged but you slumped against him.

"Not the same when I wanted to share it with you." You sighed, eyeing the cream on his lip, leaning in and licking it off as Kylo's eyebrows lifted. "You're a messy eater."

"I guess I should continue eating messy if that entails you licking my face." He mumbled as you chuckled, popping open the bottle of wine and drinking straight from it. "Would you like some, my love?"

Scooting even closer to him, enough for him to wrap his arm around you, you reached for the bottle and took a sip, trying it out before nearly chugging.

"Okay, dear pilot, share." Kylo said as he opened his free hand for you to hand the bottle over.

But you shook your head and turned away from him, stubbornly drinking away.

"It's  _my_  wine." He snarled but you shrugged, tugging the sheets away with you as you stood from the bed. "Pilot!"

"Supreme Leader!" You mocked, trying to make a run for it, but Kylo jumped the bed and caught your waist in time. "You ate all the cake, I want the wine!"

"I shared it with you—"

"One piece!" You shook your head, trying to gulp as much of the liquid as you could.

"It's. Still. Sharing!" He barked, reaching for the bottle, but you lowered it.

"Not enough!" Suddenly, you felt Kylo spin you around and pin you against the wall, pressing his body against you to prevent you from hiding the bottle.

"Kylo!" You whined, but he grabbed the bottle from you and lifted it high so you couldn't reach. "Hey! Share!" Trying to jump and reach the bottle, Kylo tilted his head back and brought the wine to his lips. "You're such— You're such a child!" Frowning and tugging at his bicep, Kylo lifted the bottle from his mouth with a wink. "You finished it?!"

Shrugging, Kylo handed you the bottle back, grabbing it and shaking it to prove your theory right. "We could've taken turns if you hadn't hogged it."

"You are the  _worst_." You huffed, shoving the bottle against him before stomping away to the refresher.

Shaking his head and settling the empty bottle on your nightstand, he turned away and spotted the blanket lying before the refresher door, picking it up and settling it on the bed before walking back. "My love..." He called out, seeing steam from the shower already form in puffs of air. "Don't be so stubborn." Reaching for the door and pushing it to slide open, Kylo spotted your figure in the mass of air surrounding you.

You stood in silence, letting the water drench you from head to toe, hearing shuffling come from behind you. If he had shared his cake with you, you wouldn't have been so grumpy!

"Are you truly upset at me over cake? Didn't you just have the best sex of your life?" Kylo asked as he joined you, sleeping pants dangling over a towel rack.

"No." You huffed, keeping your back turned towards him as a frown grew on Kylo's lips.

"No?" He repeated softly, only to tighten his jaw and fists. "What do you  _mean_  no?"

"No means no." You shrugged. "Could've been better."

Exhaling heavily through his nose, Kylo turned away and rubbed his face. "You're saying that because I didn't share the kriffing cake. I know you are. You just want to upset me." He called your bluff, but you stayed in silence.

 _If he had shared his cake I would kindly say it was the best I've ever had with just the size of him, but he didn't, so he's gonna hear what he doesn't wanna hear!_ You thought.

"Dammit, pilot, I can hear your thoughts! You're doing this on purpose!" Kylo childishly stomped, turning to face you. "If I ordered another slice and gave it all to you, would that please you?"

Feeling a small smile tug on your lips, you looked over your shoulder and nodded.

"You're an unbelievable woman." Kylo groaned, walking closer to you and loosening his fists before placing his hands gently on your hips. "I will get you more cake if you say I was the best you've had."

 _You are_.

"Actually  _say_  it, pilot." He softly spoke in your ear.

"You  _are_." You sighed, leaning back into him as Kylo kissed the top of your head.

 

* * *

 

Shivering with wet hair as you wore one Kylo's sleeping shirts and boxers, you felt something drape over your head before it was wrapped over your frame. "What—" Looking down at the material, recognizing the design, you smiled. "Is your cape my new blanket?"

Hugging you from behind as he rested his chin on your shoulder, Kylo nodded. "You love the smell."

Blushing, knowing he heard your thoughts, you turned your head enough to kiss him. "I do..."

Smiling at you, the way his cape hooded you and his your figure, he released you from his grip before circling you and stopping before you. "You look cute." He winked as you chuckled.

"I'm freezing, don't you have a hairdryer? I would assume so since your hair always looks so fluffy." You said as Kylo ran his fingers through his wet hair.

"I air dry it."

Growing wide eyed, you tiptoed and looked at his hair, "No way! And your hair is so soft when it's dried..."

Shrugging, Kylo lifted you in his arms and brought you to his bed, then sat you on his lap. "Must've gotten it from my mother."

"Leia..." You smiled, snuggling against his chest. "I wish I could see how she looks."

Gulping as he took in a deep breath, Kylo drew circles against your leg. "She is the... General of the Resistance."

Blinking, you sat up and looked at him. Yes, you were new to the First Order, so you were unaware of a few things... but you obviously knew about the Resistance. They were the enemy. "The General?" You said in awe, a reaction Kylo did not expect. "She is your mother?"

Shifting in his spot and looking away, he let out a small breath. "Yes... My mother is the General..."

"What about your father?" You curiously asked as Kylo gulped, noticing the change in his demeanor.

"He... was a smuggler..." Kylo mumbled.

"A smuggler?" Tilting your head as you eyed him, Kylo's hand balled up into a fist. "Kylo?"

Taking in a deep breath and lifting you off of him, placing you to a side, he sat with his back facing you. Taking in deep breaths as he ran his fingers through his hair, tugging at it, he felt his insides turn. His heart was now lodged in his throat as he rubbed the heels of his palms into his eyes.

"Kylo..." You softly spoke, removing the cape from your body as you crawled over to him. "You don't have to speak about it if you don't want to..." Sitting on your knees beside him, you gently placed a hand on his bare back, feeling him shiver. "I'm sorry for—"

"I killed him."

Hearing his words, you gulped. "When?"

"Three years ago, before Ellia was born." He answered, keeping his head low, refusing to look at you. "It was a very dark point in my life. I was imbalanced, my Master made me believe that in order to rid the imbalance, I would have to cut all ties to the light. So I murdered my father." Kylo added as you stayed listening. "It only made matters worse, I didn't need to kill my father to find a balance, I needed to kill my Master. He was what was holding me back. Feeding me lies, using me for my name, abusing me for my power. So I murdered him, too."

Taking in a small breath, your hand slid from his back, catching his attention. "Please don't think any differently of me..." He begged as he felt you shift away. "Please... I would never hurt—" Feeling something against his shoulders, Kylo lifted his head from his hands and spotted the black material you placed on him: his cape.

"I wouldn't." You shook your head, gently turning his chin for him to face you. "You believed in lies, you were told to do something by a higher command. And now you're free. Look at you... you're the Supreme Leader and the First Order is doing so well under your ruling. I'm sure the previous could never."

Looking deeply into your soft eyes, Kylo leaned into you and buried his face into your neck. "The previous was my Master."

"And he would've failed us all like he failed you." Reaching your hand into his hair, combing through as you wrapped your free arm around him, you heard a gentle knock on the door of Kylo's bedroom, followed by Kylo lifting his hand as it slid open.

"Daddy?" Hearing Ellia's voice you looked over and gave her a soft smile. "Mama, I feel daddy scared? He okays?"

Feeling your smile grow, you nudged your head for her to join the two of you. "Daddy is okay now, hmm?" You hummed as you kissed the top of Kylo's head.

"Thanks to mama, I am." He mumbled into your neck, leaving a small kiss.

Sleepily making her way to you, spotting her father as he peeked an eye and gave her a grin, she opened her arms for him to lift her. "Did I wake you up?" He asked as Ellia pressed a kiss against her father's cheek, wrapping her arms over his shoulders and hugging him.

"It okays, daddy. I make sure you okays..." She mumbled, leaning back to eye you. "Mama help make you okays..." Reaching over to you so you could hold her, you allowed the little girl into your arms as she cuddled into your chest. "Now you okays..." She sleepily said as you couldn't help but chuckle.

"I think we should get some rest, it's late." Kylo said as you nodded, lifting Ellia in your arms before the three of you settled under the sheets, you holding Ellia against your chest as Kylo held you against his.

Nuzzling his nose into your hair, sensing your sleepy state as you were falling limp against him, Kylo whispered, "I love you..."

Hearing his words, you effortlessly turned your head and mumbled back, "I love you, too."

Hearing yours and her father's words, Ellia held in a giggle as she hid her face in the duvet, blushing and smiling. She couldn't believe her little plan worked.

 

* * *

 

That following day you hardly had seen Kylo, waking up to your back being cold and with Ellia missing from your arms. You had assumed Kylo had been busy on the throne and Ellia was with Phasma and the Knights.

It almost felt as the night before hadn't happened at all. And you were more than positive the words  _I love you_  weren't something you imagined hearing.

You spent your day keeping yourself busy in the hangar, preparing for you trip to Hoth. Setting up your TIE and packing your bags for the mission. Anything to keep you from overthinking. Thoughts of  _what if he didn't mean it?_  to  _what if I did imagine it?_  haunting your mind.

That evening, you ate dinner alone in the mess hall, bummed out in the fact that Kylo hadn't reached out to you in some way to let you know everything was alright and not to overthink... but not one word was heard from him. You didn't even see him that entire day. It was almost as if your relationship with him was nothing but your imagination running wild.

And what made it worse was sleeping alone in your chambers that night, with no one to hold onto and no one to hold you. You felt empty without Ellia in your arms or Kylo's warmth against you. Had you done something wrong? Did he not expect you to love him back?

Or maybe he regretted confessing those three words after admitting to killing his own father and Master?

You tossed and turned that evening like you once did all those nights ago, wondering what had happened and if either him or Ellia were fine.

Morning then came in all it's glory with the lack of a sun, in its fabricated wake with the alarm from your holo clock, you sluggishly brought yourself to your feet. You prepared yourself for the day ahead, freshening up, eating, and meeting with your crew. There was no sign of Kylo in the hangar and it made you all the more concerned. Had something truly happened between the two of you that you were unaware of? Or maybe... just maybe, he was much too busy being a Supreme Leader and father to be a lover...

After debriefing and embarking on your flight to Hoth, with just you and your squadron, you nearly fell behind with your clouded mind. Your squad leader kept snapping you out of it, yelling at you in the comlink assuming you had fallen asleep—which, you wish you had that night before.

Arriving on the ice cold planet, seeing mountains and mountains of snow everywhere, nothing but white plains across the way, you tugged on your scarf, adjusting it to cover your nose and mouth. Not even a minute on the planet and you were already freezing.

"The abandoned rebel outpost is north from here, if we do our jobs right and scout it out and make sure it is clear, we will be sent home early. If not, we will have to eradicate the problem. We do not need the Resistance making any advances by using old data and technology to help them in their time of need." Your squad leader nodded. "Understand?"

Seeing everyone salute and nod their heads, you had done the same before following them towards the base. The group would split up in five ways to cover more ground to check different sections of the disgruntled facility.

Making your way inside as your squad leader reminded the entire team of what to do, everyone then split up and went their separate ways to search. Clutching onto your blaster as you entered the narrow and uneven pathway, carefully turning corners as you aimed your weapon, doors forcefully slid open with a screech as others only opened so much. With the lack of lighting being accessed, you relied on your scope and instincts whenever needed.

Entering the hangar and spotting abandoned crates and rebel ships, you eyed nearly each of them, recognizing that they were old x-wings. It was quite fascinating to you, especially seeing them in person, but you knew better than to gawk. Instead, you continuously searched nearly every inch you could reach, only to hear the sound of feet shuffling.

Adjusting your blaster and quickly turning from side to side, eyeing the area you were in, you walked deeper into the base through an area that seemed much like a cave with broken and deteriorating panels that must've been a power source.

Aiming your weapon and eyeing the area, you heard the noise again as you instantly spun around. Snarling, hoping it was just an animal, you turned back around to nearly stumbled.

Out of nowhere, what you assumed to be a rebel, appeared. Using their own blaster as a baton, you quickly ducked and dodged their attack, hitting the back of their ankles and knocking them off of their feet with a harsh bang of the head.

But that wasn't the last of it, more appeared at random, nearly catching you off guard as you fought and fired at them. Hissing and grunting, attacking whoever threatened your life, you fought along a bridge that connected two pieces of snowy land over a deep canyon, looking over and nearly gasping at the sight.

"We will not lose to you!" The woman shouted.

"You've already lost!" You fired back, kneeing her and whacking her up the head with your blaster.

"We haven't, but you have!" A voice from behind exclaimed, swinging their blaster against your stomach and sending you onto your knees.

Trying to catch your breath and force yourself up, the Resistance soldier kicked you harshly as your body fell over and dangled from the bridge, clinging on for dear life as your blaster fell with rubble into the void beneath you. "Kriff!"

"The Resistance will not fail!" They shouted, lifting their foot to stomp on your fingers. "We will rise and defeat you like the Rebels had with the Empire!"

Hanging, trying your best to cling onto the metal railing for dear life, the man was about to stomp their foot, but their head suddenly came off their shoulders.

Gasping and watching the body fall over with its decapitated head into the pit beneath you, you took in heavy breaths before lifting your focus and seeing...  _Kylo_... with his ignited saber.

Without a warning, he gripped your wrists and lifted you from the edge. Settling you on your feet before him, you took in a shaky breath and suddenly exploded on him. "What happened?! Why did you disappear so suddenly?! And with Ellia, too! I was worried about you and assumed you moved on or scared yourself! I meant what I said when I said I love you, too, Kylo!" You stomped. "Please don't say you regret it!" Your voice boomed.

Sucking in a deep breath, he reached for you, but you lifted your hand to prevent him. "What happened?"

Looking you in the eyes, Kylo removed his helmet and allowed it to fall by his feet. "I was... afraid."

"Afraid?" You shook your head. "You were the one who said it first and I said it  _back_. I don't understand?"

Gulping, Kylo gazed at you for a moments worth before softly speaking, "I had a nightmare that night. I dreamt of losing you." He confessed. "And Ellia saw it... I had to leave before either of us could wake you. She panicked, thinking someone had killed you and I had to keep her calm."

Blinking, you shook your head, "You should've stayed."

Huffing, Kylo nodded, "I know. Ellia was upset that I had left with her that morning and ran off to Phasma... When I went to go see her, she refused to look at me and told me to make sure you were  _okays_."

Eyeing him, you looked over the hole beneath the two of you, "Was this it?"

Slowly nodding, Kylo bit his tongue.

"If you would've joined me in the first place, none of this would've happened..." You said with a softer tone, knowing very well that the situation wasn't a coincidence.

"But I came..." He nearly whispered, looking down at you. "Forgive me, dear pilot. I wasn't thinking rationally. I should've stayed, I should've held you closer, I should've let Ellia cry to you... I know she wants nothing more than to see you."

Reaching out, you placed your gloved hand against his cheek, feeling him tilt his head into it. "Just don't do it again. I will be here for you, forever and always... Okay?" Seeing him nod, you brought your other hand up and tiptoed, tugging him down into a kiss before pressing your nose gently into his. "Thank you."

Leaning and pressing his forehead against yours, Kylo wrapped his arms around you, lowering his head into your neck as he gave you a tight embrace. "No one knows that I am here except for Phasma..."

"I figured." You smiled, kissing his cheek and stepping back to hold his hands. "I don't have a blaster anymore..."

Looking around, Kylo walked over an unconscious Resistance soldier's body, grabbing their blaster and handing it to you. "Now you do."

 

* * *

 

 

No one had expected you to enter the Hoth base, only to come out with the Supreme Leader. Most kept the questioning to themselves as others had already presumed that the two of you must've been together. After all, Kylo Ren wasn't the kind of man to just suddenly appear on missions for no apparent reason.

After explaining to your squad leader about the rebels you had run into, she suggested they do another round at dawn to make sure no others would appear—let alone escape—without an interrogation.

Using the base's hangar as a campground to stay the night, you were sitting on an open window sill overlooking the indoor terrain, nearby to where you had your lovely interaction with the rebels. The cold wasn't making it any easier for you, but at least the temperature within the base wasn't as intense outside the base.

"I've reached out to Phasma to let her know I won't be returning until tomorrow evening." Kylo spoke from behind you as you nodded, walking over and joining you.

"How is Ellia?" You asked.

"Still grumpy, called me a  _bum bum_..." He sighed and you couldn't help but chuckle. "I told her you were safe with me, though. That eased her." Wrapping his arm around you, Kylo felt you lean into him as he took in a deep breath. "My parents worked in this base..."

"Really?" You asked, sitting up.

"They were part of the Rebel Alliance. This was their base before they were drowned out by the Empire." Kylo explained as you nodded.

"Have you been here before?"

"No, this is my first time." Bringing you closer to him, pulling your legs over his thighs, he draped a portion of his thick cloak over you, your face partially covered by your scarf. "Starkiller Base was almost as cold but our internal base was much warmer than this."

"I don't know how someone can live and work in here..." You shivered, burying yourself deeper into his chest. "Good thing you're here to keep me warm."

"Is that my only purpose of being here?" He asked, looking down at you as you shut your eyes, nuzzling him with a smile.

"Mhm..." You nodded, tugging his robes closer to you as Kylo grinned, watching you cocoon yourself into him. "This is why I love you."

Shaking his head at your teasing words, Kylo kissed the top of your head before burying his nose into your hair. "Then I suppose it's my only reason to live."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading, your feedback drives me to write more!


	6. Forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A life like this was one Kylo never believed he’d be able to have.

It was something you should've expected the moment you landed your TIE Fighter in the hangar. The second you climbed out and removed your helmet, to the moment you heard footsteps approaching, you were nudged as a pair of arms wrapped around your legs. "Mama! Mama! Mama!"

Smiling at the sound of her voice, you kneeled and lifted her in your arms. "My lovely princess!" Shutting your eyes, feeling Ellia's arms trying to tighten around you, as if afraid of letting go and losing you, you kissed the side of her head.

"Mama! I miss you! Been long! Now you here, I happy!" She exclaimed as you settled her down, eyeing her as you twirled some of her smooth hair around your finger. "Not want to sleep alone again..."

"You did have your daddy..." You softly said as she pouted. "He really loves you, Ellia... He didn't want you to wake me, although he regretted it..."

Sucking in a small breath as she looked down, she traced the patches on your jumpsuit. "I knows... But I not want leave you..."

"I know, honey. But I'm okay, alright?" Hearing her hum, you smiled. "I'm alive and so are you and so is your daddy."

"I love daddy..." She nearly whispered, blushing as her little finger kept moving around your outfit.

"I love you, too..." Kylo spoke from behind as Ellia popped her head up, turning and seeing him.

"Daddy!" Running up to him as he caught her, Kylo left multiple kisses all over her cheeks, rubbing his nose against hers. "I sorry for be mean..."

"It's okay, little princess, I understand why." He said, hugging her and looking over at you as   
you smiled.

"You not take me from mama when have night scare?" She asked as Kylo looked back at her.

"I promise to not take you away from mama." He nodded, as Ellia smiled and rested her head on his shoulder.

"Is 'cause you love mama?" Ellia giggled. "Yes?"

"Yes..." Kylo quietly answered as a tint of pink took over his cheeks when Ellia squealed at his response.

"Daddy marry mama?" She curiously asked as she looked up at him, then over to you as she grinned "Hmm?"

"I—"

"You marry someday!" Ellia nodded, reaching for you as you walked over, switching to be in your arms. "Mommy love daddy?" Nuzzling you as she buried her face in your neck, you smiled as you rubbed her back.

"I do." Resting your head on top of hers as you rocked her from side to side, both you and Kylo hadn't noticed your entire squadron was there watching.

"Don't mind us!" Your squad leader lifted her hands, shooing the rest of your team before she bowed her head at you and Kylo.

Sighing, Kylo rested a hand on your lower back, guiding you away from the hangar. "I suppose word will eventually spread... Then, the whole galaxy will know when I marry you."

Feeling your heart skip a beat at his words, you looked up at him as he walked along, a small grin etched on his face at the idea of marrying you. He wanted it and he knew he would have it, after all, in his eyes, you were the one.

You always were.

 

* * *

 

Months had passed since your return from Hoth, you had officially moved into Kylo's quarters as both he and Ellia insisted you must (seeing as many of your things had found their way into his place). Ellia slowly started sleeping on her own, although, on the occasion would fall asleep against you or her father when watching her favorite holo-show with the two of you.

Your number in missions didn't dwindle, much to your surprise. Kylo knew better not to interfere with your passion and decided you take day long missions often rather than sporadic multi-day missions.

Today, though, was one of your days off and you decided to spend it with Ellia. You joined her for breakfast, watched Phasma and the troops train, then had lunch before watching the Knights. Kylo had been missing for the entirety of it, you woke up to him missing from your shared bed—which earned a groan from you since you missed his warmth. Both you and Ellia assumed he had a very busy day as Supreme Leader, so you left it at that.

Sitting on the ground with Ellia sitting on your lap as she had a  _full blown_  conversation with BB-9E, a pair of Knights approached you. "The Supreme Leader requests your audience."

Furrowing your eyebrows, the other Knight bowed their head. "It's urgent."

"Oh..." Letting Ellia stand up before you had, you took her hand in yours as she waved goodbye to the BB unit. "Is it... something serious? I mean, I know urgent is serious, but—"

"He did not tell us, only to find you and bring you to him." One of the Knights said as you nodded, following them along. What was it that was so urgent? Was it a mission? Or maybe it was involving him?

"No worry, mama! If serious, dad go to you himself!" Ellia said, as if recognizing the concerned look on your face.

Looking down at her, you nodded with a smile. "Thank you, princess."

Arriving at the throne room as the lift doors opened, your heart suddenly plummeted. Everywhere you looked, wherever your eyes landed, there was all sorts of flowers. Scattered about, whites and reds, pinks and yellows, in bunches they sat. "K— Ky—"

Seeing the man appear from behind a tower of roses, a frantic look on his face, you took a step forward as you brought Ellia with you. "Dear pilot!" He exclaimed, almost as if caught.

"Kylo, what is... all this for?" You curiously asked, eyes trailing away from him and towards the garden that replaced Kylo's throne.

"I... There..." Clearing his throat, Kylo looked down at Ellia—who had been fighting a giggle as she used her free arm to hide her face. It almost felt as if she was preventing the idea of helping her father out in a situation she was well aware of. "I— I didn't know what was your favorite... flower..."

"This— They're all so beautiful? I... I don't think I could... have a favorite?" You stuttered, in complete awe at your surroundings. "I just—" Turning your head forward to face him, Kylo knelt before you with a single rose in his hand, a shimmer shinning from within the petals. "Kylo..." Losing your breath as your eyes caught sight of the ring sitting within it, you blinked.

"I know it's been... not too long. For we've only have been together for months... but, my dear pilot, I could never love anyone more. I could never want anyone more. It's you. My dear pilot who doesn't need the Force to have my attention. My dear pilot who is perfect the way she is, doing what she's passionate about while loving both Ellia and I..." Kylo gulped, looking you in the eyes as Ellia had nearly been vibrating in her spot from holding her excitement. "I have wanted to do this for quite some time. Ellia helped me with ideas, seeing as all of mine just weren't perfect enough... But Ellia loves flowers and collects them, so I decided to put the two things that most resemble us in one... the throne and flowers...

"I don't know if I thought too deeply into this, but I wanted it perfect. I  _needed_  it to be perfect, for you are perfect to me... My love—"

"Daddy alway like you since you first start here!" Ellia blurted out, instantly covering her mouth with her pilot doll as Kylo slumped and shut his eyes.

But you, on the other hand, blushed with a smile. Your muscles loosened up and your face softened up. "Really?"

Clearing his throat and biting his inner lip, conflicted with embarrassment and stubbornness, Kylo reopened his eyes and nodded. "I have always known who you were... I just kept that to myself. When I saw you with Ellia, I reacted in a way I thought was best... because I was stubborn and the idea of you handling her made matters worse for me. Phasma noticed, she knew the look on my face every time I saw you depart or return from a mission. There was something about you— Kriff, I sound ridiculous—"

"Kylo!" You chuckled, gesturing for him to continue.

"There was something about you that struck my heart, okay!" He huffed as you shook your head. "There was something there that my soul desired... and that was  _your_  damn soul..." Kylo grumbled as you grinned.

Using your free hand to cup his cheek, you leaned in and kissed his nose. "The answer is yes."

"What?" He narrowed his eyebrows, watching you as you turned your focus down to the rose, reaching in and grabbing the ring.

"Yes." You said, slipping the ring onto your finger as Ellia had freed your hand. "Yes, I will marry you." Taking the rose in your hand and smelling it, Kylo suddenly jumped to his feet and lifted you with him, using his free hand to bring your head down for your lips to meet his.

"Mama and daddy get married! Mama and daddy get married! Mama and daddy!" Ellia squealed as she jumped around and clapped. "Mama and daddy in love!"

Settling you down, kissing your lips with an endless desire for more, you gently pushed away and softly laughed as you swiped under his chin. "She's right." You nodded.

"My little princess is always right." Kylo said as he lifted Ellia in his arms, kissing her round cheeks. " _Always_."

Smiling and nearly shying away, she kissed her father's cheek before hugging him tightly. "I so happy..."

Looking at one another, you nodded, "So am I."

 

* * *

 

"How does a Supreme Leader... plan a wedding?" You asked Kylo as you lied on your stomach beside him, propped on your elbows as your bare body was covered by the sheets. After Kylo's proposal, Ellia insisted there'd be a dinner to celebrate—in which she ate too much and ended up falling asleep on her father. Which gave you and Kylo alone time to extend the celebration.

Turning onto his side and tracing his finger along your spine as you shivered, he leaned in and left feather like kisses along your shoulders and down your back. "I'm not so sure..." He mumbled against your skin. "But, I will have it under control."

"Will I help?" Folding your arms underneath your pillow and resting your head on it, you shut your eyes.

"Well, I would rather surprise you like I did with your engagement... but, you can partake..."

"By?"

"By helping design your gown." He softly spoke, leaving more kisses. "And... other matters. I just want it to be breathtaking for you..."

You couldn't help but chuckle before turning onto your side and pulling him into a kiss. "I can't believe I am marrying a  _king_." You teased as Kylo smiled down at you, leaning in and kissing your neck. "This is not what I signed up for when I joined the First Order..."

Feeling your fingers run through his hair, Kylo kissed under your jaw, then your cheek and nose. "You signed up for your passion... and I have become one of them." He muttered against the skin under your eye as you laughed.

"You're so full of it..." Slipping your fingers from his hair, you wrapped your arms around him as he fell limp against your body, earning a small grunt from you. "I love you."

Slipping his arms underneath you and rolling onto his back, Kylo left more kisses against your face, "I love  _you_."

Nuzzling your face into his neck with a smile, you heard a sudden knock on the bedroom door. "Mama? Daddy?" Hearing Ellia's voice from the other side of the door, you lifted your head and looked over.

"One second, little princess!" Kylo called out as you sat up and quickly pulled on your nightwear as Kylo slid on his sleeping pants, aiming for the door afterwards.

Rubbing her eyes, she looked up at her father, reaching up to him with grabby hands as one hand partially held her pilot doll. "Not sleep well, too much food, tummy ache..."

"Like when you ate the candy?" Kylo asked as he lifted Ellia, but she shook her head.

"No, but tummy ache. Will rub?" She tilted her head as Kylo nodded, bringing her to the bed and sitting her on his lap as he began to massage her stomach.

Walking over to the bed to join the two after you had finished dressing yourself, you gave Ellia's forehead a kiss as you watched Kylo gently rub circles against her belly. "Too much food?"

"Uh huh..." She pouted as you caressed her soft cheeks. "I not sleep good, tummy feel funny..."

"You'll be okay." You nodded, giving her a reassuring smile as she leaned against her father, softly smiling back at you.

"Mama and daddy get marry... not dream?" She asked as you chuckled.

"Not a dream." You said as you showed her your hand, in which she reached over with her little one and smiled at the ring.

"Not dream... I help pick dis!" She nodded as Kylo held in a laugh, leaning in and kissing the top of Ellia's head.

"You did?" You asked as you watched her hold your hand.

"Well, I help make! Daddy ask for help!" She said, clearly seeming better as she gloated.

"Make it?" You asked, looking over at Kylo who had blushed and kept his focus on his daughter. "You made this?"

"Possibly..." He muttered, but you reached over and held his chin.

"Kylo?" You tilted your head the slightest as he took in a deep breath, nodding. A smile grew on your lips as you leaned in and kissed his cheek. "I can't believe it..." Looking down at the ring, you felt Ellia reach over and hold onto your fingers.

"Daddy style! He get stone from cave! I help choose!" She nodded, smiling up at you.

"Are you feeling better, little princess?" Kylo arched an eyebrow, feeling Ellia suddenly fall limp against him as she pouted.

"...No..."

You couldn't help but chuckle, knowing very well she was acting. "Would you like to sleep with us?" You asked as her face instantly lit up, but she forced herself to frown and nod.

"Please?" She blinked.

"Only for tonight." Kylo said. "You've been sleeping on your own and you've been doing so well."

Sighing, she nodded. "I knows... but mama gonna marry you! I wanna sleep with both you..."

Smiling, Kylo lifted Ellia enough for him to kiss her cheeks before holding her into an embrace. "Will you cuddle daddy this time?" He asked, earning a giggle from both you and Ellia.

"Hmm... Okays!" She nodded as Kylo slid down the bed and let Ellia rest against him. "Love you daddy, love you mama..." Ellia said as she curled into her father's chest.

Resting beside Kylo and scooting closer to kiss Ellia's head, you rested a hand on her back before you kissed Kylo's bare shoulder. "Love you, too, princess."

 

* * *

 

"Mama! You have ever thing?" Ellia asked as she stood before you, lifting up her hand that held your gloves, making sure you were set. You were in the midst of preparing for a sudden mission that you'd be joining Kylo on and Ellia insisted she help out—hence the way she stood before you as if  _she_  were your mother.

Smiling down at her, you knelt and took the gloves, placing them on. "Yes I do, thank you, my favorite assistant." Leaning in and kissing her forehead, you felt Kylo's shadow cast upon you as you looked up at him, then down at Ellia. "I promise we will be back as soon as we can." You nodded.

"Okays! Be safe! No get hurt!" She pointed her little finger at both of you and Kylo as the two of you nodded. "Love you, mama! Love you, daddy!" Ellia exclaimed as she went to hug each of you, one at a time.

"You will be good, hmm?" Kylo asked as he knelt before her.

"Uh huh!" She nodded as Kylo gave her a soft smile, holding her hips before leaning in and brushing his nose against hers.

"I love you, little princess."

Smiling at her father's words, she instantly hugged him, kissing his cheek before leaning back. "You take care of mama! No let her get hurt!" She said, sternly, as Kylo nodded. "Okays! Go, go! I be with auntie Phasma!" Ellia waved her hands as she rushed to Phasma's side.

You and Kylo stood to your feet at the same time, waving goodbye to Ellia before walking off. You had retrieved your helmet from the small dining table as the two of you exited your shared quarters. "You know, I haven't seen my original helmet in a long time... Might know where it is?"

"Nope." Kylo shrugged as he walked along, earning a glare from you.

"You totally do! I know you do!" You exclaimed, rushing to his side and holding his arm with your free hand. "Where is it? What happened to it? Where'd you put it? What do you—"

"You ask a lot of questions, my love..." Kylo spoke as he kept his focus ahead. "Your helmet is fine."

"Then, where is it? Why don't I ever see it in our quarters? Hmm?" You hummed.

"Maybe it  _isn't_  in our quarters, have you thought about that?" Kylo raised an eyebrow as he looked down at you momentarily.

Squinting your eyes and thinking of places it could be, you huffed. It wasn't in your quarters, nor his... wasn't in the throne room... not even in his private training room... So, where— "Your ship! Oh, you sneaky bantha!" You lifted a finger as Kylo smirked. "You keep it in there!"

"Possibly..." He shrugged as you shook your head. "I may keep it beside mine..."

Grinning, you stopped him in his tracks and pulled him down to your height, muttering against his lips, "you can be cute when you want to. I like it when you're cute. Be cute more often." Kissing him with a smile, you turned away and continued walking on. "That's okay, I've kept and hidden one of your capes in my ship."

Stopping in his tracks and watching you walk away, his heart skipped a beat. In no way was that a coincidence... "Really?"

"Mhm! It smells like you and I get to have something of you with me when you're not around." You spoke over your shoulder with a smile.

Taking in a deep breath as he fell flustered, he quickened his pace and made it beside you as the two of you arrived at the hangar.

Your engagement hadn't happened much too long ago, but much has happened between then and now that it felt long ago. Aside from missions and looking after Ellia, you helped plan the wedding—in which you never thought to be so detailed. Kylo had warned you numerous times that he could handle it on his own with help if it became too much, but you insisted you were fine. Of course, that was before you knew how much  _actual_  detail went into it.

So, Kylo decided to pull you away and take you on an actual mission—one far from the vessel and on a planet. Most of your missions were in the air and hardly on planets, and if you were on a planet, you had a specific place to be and couldn't wander around; those missions were few and far between. But, Kylo made it happen.

Lucky for you, it wasn't anything too out of this world, but it was still something. You and Kylo, amongst a shuttle filled with troopers, flew to a remote planet that had a treaty with the First Order. It was simple business but there was word of rebelling and those against the governments partnership. Kylo had dealt with matters like these numbers of times—the troopers were only there for show and nothing more.

But, you? He just wanted you to come along as a sort of... right hand. Even if you were in your pilot garb. You were still considered part of a special forces unit when needed... and Kylo claimed you (and just you) were needed now.

Throughout the mission, you stood by his side, just a few steps back with your helmet on and (new, after losing your previous) blaster in hand. During the entirety of the outdoor meeting being held underneath a canopy, something in the distance continuously caught your eye.

There was constant movements and rustling within the bushes behind the canopy grounds. Your eyes continuously found themselves shifting over, trying to figure what it was. No matter how hard you tried to listen in on the mission, your eyes kept bouncing back to the bushes.

Biting your tongue as the meeting carried on, growing antsy as you wanted to see what it was, Kylo sensed your jumpiness and reached out into the Force, almost as if holding your shoulder. Sucking in a quiet, deep breath, you forced your eyes back ahead for the rest of the meeting until it was completed.

"May I ask as to why my right hand kept seeming as if she had to use the refresher?" Kylo asked as he turned to you, face hidden behind his helmet.

"This will sound... ridiculous, but there's something in the bushes that keeps jumping around and I  _have_  to see it!" You loudly whispered within your helmet.

"Seriously?" Kylo asked and you could practically sense the cocking of his eyebrow.

"Yes!" You nearly jumped but kept to your professionalism.

"Then let us see what mysterious creature lives within the bushes..." Kylo sighed as he turned on his heel and lead the way, hearing you follow closely behind as he approached the shaky bushes.

"Something's in there... May I take my helmet off?" You asked, looking up at him as he nodded.

Settling your helmet on the ground, you peeked into the bushes and pushed the stems around, trying to find what it was. Shuffling through, you heard a sudden sound that caused you to pause.

"What?" Kylo looked down at you as you froze there. "What is it?"

Reaching in as you spotted something that wasn't green, you carefully held on and pulled back your hands. "It's a..." looking down at the white fur ball in your hands, you lifted your focus to meet Kylo's, "kitten..."

"A cat?" He furrowed his eyebrows.

"Mhm... They must be weeks old... Abandoned, probably..." Eyeing the kitten in your hold, gently caressing her fur, an idea suddenly came to mind.

"No, no... Don't even think—"

"Ellia would love her!" You exclaimed as you stood up. "Come on, she would be so happy... Ellia and her little kitten!" Lifting the small animal in your hold and pouting, you practically begged Kylo.

"I don't... A kitten is a lot of work, she can't possibly—"

"I'll help!" You nodded. "My childhood best friend had one and I took care of them when she had gone away for vacation. I can help, Kylo. Can you imagine how happy Ellia would be?"

Sighing, Kylo removed his helmet and rubbed his face before nodding. "Fine. But I don't want that  _thing_  leaving it's droppings all over and—"

"You're totally gonna love this little fur ball, I already know it." You snickered with a wink. "You're acting all distant now, but you're gonna be the one we find holding and petting her!" Reaching for your helmet and placing the kitten inside, Kylo replaced his helmet with a small groan before you guided him back to the ships.

"If that cat rips up one of my capes..." Kylo trailed, earning a throaty laugh from you, "I'm serious!"

"Sure you are... How many capes do you have?" You asked, looking inside your helmet, petting the kitten's head as she curled up.

"..." Kylo stood in silence, as he aimed for his TIE Silencer. "I have a  _number_."

Shaking your head, removing the kitten from your helmet as you placed it back on, you climbed into your TIE Fighter before speaking up, "Then I suggest you no longer leave your capes lying around on the couch!"

At your words, Kylo's eyes widened within his helmet. Did Ellia  _really_  need a pet? She was fine without one!

 

* * *

 

The second you landed in the hangar, you knew very well that Ellia had been waiting for you. Removing your helmet and settling the now resting kitten within it, you climbed out of your starfighter and spotted Ellia.

"Mama!" She shrieked, rushing over, only to slow her pace as she spotted a grin on your face. "Why you smile like dat?"

Laughing as you shook your head, you knelt down before her. "I have a little gift for you..."

"A gift! For me!" She gasped as you extended your arms, allowing her to peek into your helmet. "Oh, star! You got kitty!" Ellia said with wide eyes, jumping in her spot as you gestured for her to pick up the cat.

As Ellia gawked at the small being in her hands, Kylo had approached the two of you before crouching down beside you. "What are you going to name her?" Kylo asked as Ellia held the kitten close to her, carefully hugging the animal.

"Her? Oh!" She grinned, a smile that reached her eyes. "I name her Leia!"

"Leia?" You tilted your head as she nodded, Kylo placing his hand on your knee. "You know about..."

"Yeah! I see her in dreams! When I sad or scared, they come!" She explained. "But now you here, mama, and I not sad or scared no more. No see them as much..."

"Them?" You asked as Kylo squeezed your knee.

"Her grandmother and great grandmother." He spoke up as you looked over at him. "Leia and Padmé."

"Both so pretty and nice like you, mama!" She beamed.

"Then, you must be pretty like them." Leaning in and kissing her forehead, you lifted her in your arms as Kylo took your helmet, walking beside you, back to your shared quarters.

 

* * *

 

Just like you predicted, Kylo had grown attached to  _Leia_. After a few weeks of having her—and Ellia almost never letting her go unless you told her to—Kylo constantly found the kitten on his shoulder, on his lap, or even curled by his head. It even got to a point the kitten had appeared in the throne room during a meeting and he had to continue on with the little animal playing with his boots.

And as that happened, your wedding grow closer and closer until it finally came. You had never been more anxious in your life, knowing you'd be watched by hundreds and hundreds of people. The idea frightened you that everyone's eyes would be on your every move... But when the time had come, and you put your gown on to approach the supposed aisle, you were brought to the throne room where only the Knights, Phasma, Ellia and Kylo were.

" _What happened?_ " you had whispered to Kylo before the small ceremony had begun, earning a " _I wanted it intimate for you... For us_..." from him.

The moment the two of you were announced husband and wife, and shared your deep kiss, Ellia had rushed over with her flower basket that held her kitten within it as Kylo lifted them in his arms. "Mama and daddy marry! Like I say! Yay!" Tossing the remaining flower petals in the air, over the two of you, you couldn't help but laugh as you gave Kylo a sweet kiss. "But now I hungry..."

Shaking his head as he smiled, Kylo kissed Ellia's head before the small group made their way to the dinner set up in a corner of the throne room.

The entire "evening" you spent it beside Kylo as you chatted away with the Knights. Ellia had found herself sitting on Phasma's lap as she jabbered on towards the captain and her partner. Kylo, however, sat in his own world, tuning in and out of conversations as he kept his hand in yours. He eyed the way you smiled and laughed, how your skin shinned from the glitter Ellia sprinkled on it. His eyes trailed you, how your gown hugged your body, to the way the rings shined on your finger. You were absolutely breathtaking, more than he ever thought possible.

Leaning in and kissing your shoulder, he eventually joined in on the conversation as little Leia had bounced on his lap, then made her way to his shoulder as she rested there.

It had been quite the long day with the string of events you encountered, but after a lovely dinner—and even a few shared dances you had asked for before the reception had been over—you soon found yourself practically bare beside Kylo.

Resting on his cape with just your undergarments on, gazing out at the large window before you, both you and Kylo shared the last bits of cake and wine as you rested your head against him. "The floor isn't the best place to fool around on..." You chuckled as you fed yourself some of the dessert.

"Well, you did ask me where I wanted to go and we did technically have our first dinner here, together..." Kylo trailed.

"As a date." You added with a smile.

"As a date..." He nodded. "And we were about to  _fool around_  until we were told Ellia was sick."

Softly smiling as you took one last bite, you looked over at him, "I have never seen you run that fast before."

"My daughter comes before anything else... And, my wife as well." Bringing your hand in his, he lifted it to kiss where your wedding band sat. "The two most important people in my life..."

"And your favorite cat!" You added with a laugh as Kylo smiled.

"And that little creature..." He admitted before turning his head to kiss your cheek, then neck. "Thank you for putting up with me... I know I may be too much but—"

Lifting your finger, you shook your head. " I love you."

Sucking in a deep breath as his heart fluttered, Kylo lowered your finger before leaning in to kiss you, "I love you more."

 

* * *

 

**TWO** **YEAR** **S** **LATER**

"Kylo... My love... Aren't you supposed to be in the middle of a meeting?" You asked as you sat with Ellia in between your legs, braiding her hair.

"No! Yes! No! Maybe!" He exclaimed, breathless as he stood at the threshold of the main door to your shared quarters. "I felt a disturbance and I—"

"Kylo..." Looking up at him, you gently patted your protruding belly. "Me and the baby are fine."

"He's okay, daddy!" Ellia nodded. "Baby brother has been kicking! I think he wants to leave..."

Chuckling, you nodded and leaned in, "Soon, he will..." kissing Ellia's head as she had been petting Leia, Kylo walked over and plopped beside you as the cat instantly jumped on him.

"Then what did I  _feel_?" He asked as his gloved fingers ran through Leia's fur coat.

"I dunno..." You shrugged, continuing to braid Ellia's hair. "Maybe you—" Cutting yourself off as your breath hitched, Kylo jumped to his feet with Leia in his hold.

"It's happening?" He asked with a breathy voice as you bit your lip and nodded.

"I— Okay! We prepared for this! Ellia!" Kylo pointed as Ellia was already on her feet, rushing to her holo pad to call Phasma and the Knights as Kylo reached out to the doctor, Leia still in his hold.

"Kylo, I—"

"SHE IS GIVING BIRTH!" He shouted from your shared bedroom as you sighed, knowing you were  _just_  having contractions.

But, of course, the doctor had come at the same time the Knights and Phasma had, leaving your chambers to be a full house as you found yourself to be the calmest of them all... at least, until you gave birth, that was. Kylo could've sworn he had lost his hand from your grip and believed you had ripped it off with how numb it had gotten.

Resting on your bed with the newborn freshly cleaned, clothed and wrapped up in your arms, Kylo sat beside you as Ellia climbed to sit on him. "Mama, I have a name for him."

"You do?" You asked, looking over at her as she nodded. "What is it?"

"Ben!" She smiled as you looked over at Kylo.

"Ben Ren?" You asked her as she giggled.

"Baby brother Ben! He looks like a Ben!" She said before leaning in to eye her little brother who had been cooing and squirming in your arms. "He looks like daddy!"

"He does, doesn't he?" Looking down at your baby, you smiled.

"I suppose if that's the name Ellia desires..." Kylo breathed as you sniggered, carefully handing the infant to him. "Ben Ren..."

Resting against Kylo as you wrapped an arm around Ellia, you leaned in and kissed your son's forehead before Ellia had done the same. "It's a fun name... I just hope he won't hate us for it."

"He won't." Kylo shook his head, lifting his newborn son in his arms and gently pressing his own lips against his warm cheek. "As long as we always love him, he will always love us."


End file.
